Wisely-de-Soul

HI

2011-05-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

Hi.... Its been almost another year....

LTNS

2010-07-24T03:04:00.002+08:00

Well well...

Look at the date last posted...

3 months and it will be coming to a year.... How amazing!

My laziness got the better of me again.

Too much happenings, thus rather not talk about it.

Maybe too much things have been bottling up and I seriously didnt wanna share much.

Perhaps I should stat blogging about things again.

Updating in FB always being questioned as Emo-ing.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no...

I think I am just being random and emotional at times.

Age catches up.

Life seems to be missing alot of things.

Weekends are pure boredom now.

Duno what to do with it.

I need someone...

i still am waiting for that someone....

~*~

Serendipity

2009-11-01T02:01:00.002+08:00

Happy Halloween~~~

Though I have been home the whole evening...

Many things happened again.

Ok, not exactly many things.

More about jobs again.

Ya, I am sure I have told a number of people, hate repeating it cos everytime I think of it, it just pissed me.

Now I think I just gotta concentrate more on my last 2 papers and my assignment.

Seriously hate my FYP. Especially on the market research part.

But then again, I dont have a choice. Its coming to an end of my 2 years of part time studies.

I cant give up!

Bad timing... Haiz... Really bad timing... Crap...

Chatted with Joyce 1 week back...

She was telling me she thinks Celest is attached...

I was VERY taken aback...

She said she thinks but I never ask her why.

I also didnt know why i didnt ask her, maybe cos I didnt wanna know the truth from someone else.

From what i observed and the talks and sms Celest and me had, no sign of her being attached.

Of cos, thats from my own point of view.

If she really is, it means she covered herself super well...

Or am I just too obsessed with her to realised and notice anything?

Whatever it is, be it I am jumping into flame or holding on to a cactus, I will not give up as yet.

Until I find out on my own and there is a conclusion.

I havent even make my final move and pop the question, how can?

Hang in there...

Prays for serendipity...

For work, relationship, family and life...

Wish for Serendipity

2009-10-21T16:50:00.003+08:00

Its coming to another 2 months since I last updated.

I think I am just pure lazy in blogging.

Though alot of things happened.

Big and small issues.

Sometimes I am just so tired to blog.

Work is still slow.

Lotsa things to continue learning and its really not easy.

I seriously dont know how far I can go in this line.

Hmmm...

Well... On another happy note...

I have been meeting Celest more frequent now. About once a week?

Though its only for lunch.

Been to JB 2-3 times, still not able to get her to go along.

Everytime something sure popped up.

Nevertheless, I shall still persist on...

At least I have something slightly positive from her.

As in replies. Like She Missed me, Like Qin Ai De, Dear Boy Boy?

Haaa...

Sometimes I was thinking if I am reading too much into it.

But seriously, it does make me smile from my heart.

Its been over a year...

How long do I need to take to make the move?

By my birthday I think.

Time is enough for her to move on, enough for me to wait on.

She knows how I feel for her, its just how she felt for me...

After exam...

My last drive to go all out...

I wish...

For serendipity...

Twinkling weekend + Absolute Feet sweeping moment!

2009-08-31T23:29:00.002+08:00

In a twinkling of eyes, weekend is just gone~

Amazing!

As usual, another boring weekend for me.

Rot at home on Saturday and TV till 3am again.

Sunday went to Geylang look for SGN then went to Ber's place and nuah with them and home.

Pooof!

There you have it!

Monday again!

Argh~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*~

Anyway, last week, something made me smile big time.

Although something else pissed me big time, but what came straight after that swept me off~

Ex coy sms me some crap la... Got me pissed...

Yeah, my pay issue not settlee yet!

God damm it!

After which, I received another sms.

A good night sms.

Last 2 words of the sms arent good night.

Its............

Miss U!

I posted in FB.

"Miss you" has never made me felt as amazing as tonight... It just kept stirring waves of emotions in me and I'm totally overwhelmed!!!

Seriously, by now, some of you should know who can let me got so overwhelmed.

Yes...

Celest...

Its been over a year since I fell for her and been around and kinda hope to work things out.

Its the first time ever, she sms me Miss U...

You wont imagine the kinda electrifying feeling just ran through my viens and blood!

I've realised, despite there are some other feelings here and there.

Celest has been the only one who still send the kinda excitment in me whever I see her.

Even a sms is good enough.

I think in my life, despite having a few r/s, none has given me such kinda electricfying feelings...

Celest is actually the 2nd one.

The first one, was history.

Sh was one of my greatest regrets.

She was never mine, despite we have 4-5 chances.

But always something cropped up and screwed it.

Whatever the case, she is another one's wife now.

Lolz...

Yeah...

I guess since last year, I have written quite a number of things about Celest.

But just too bad she dont read my blog...

I really have no idea how she thinks...

I dont know when is the time.

Pam said I should give myself a time frame, but end of the year.

Said its time to have more actions...

I dont know.

I dont wish to jeopardise...

But... I wish...

I would have her for X'mas and Birthday...

I wish...

Ya...

Wishing...

Happy Moments and some pissed issue

2009-08-24T00:49:00.002+08:00

There goes the weekend.

I am surprised myself that I have been home the whole weekend!

Last week was a pretty normal week.

Except Friday was bit busy after lunch.

Last Friday noon was probably the happiest time I had for all the weeks passed.

I had lunch with Celest!

Gosh! Its been months since I last saw her.

I did bumped into her on Wednesday and I was pretty happy to see her already.

We fixed the lunch days back actually.

Though we had food court only, since our lunch hours are pretty strict to an hour, but it was nice.

But this 1 hour seems to be like a flash..

Too fast!

Happy lunch hours should be set for at least 2 hours ma!

Anyway, I have been stupid.

I always thought she worked at Millenium Tower.

its till friday then I know she is actually at Suntec Tower 2!

I am at Tower 1!

Holy cow! How near are we!!!

If only I knock of at 6pm, then I can meet her to go home and class all the time..

Damm!!!

Anyway, more lunches to come I hope.

I really wish to spend more time with her.

I am taking it waaaaaaay to long.

Buck Uo! Buck Up!

~*~

Ok, this following is going to be abit harsh.

Please skip if you didnt wanna read.

I have this damm issue with my ex coy.

I havent really mentioned much about it.

Its the cause of all the shit I am going through now in my life.

i joined taking a paycut...

I went in and 2nd month, coy paycut.

WTF!!!

Delaying pay for months and telling me cos of my reports not submitted or incomplete.

Now that I have left the coy, they held my pay for 3 weeks already.

Despite emails and smses, they didnt reply.

Then I post on Facebook...

"No news from my ex coy, held my pay for 3 weeks.. I am feeling abit unhappy."

Guess what?

They replied!

Saying I should have called and not making comments here and be unhappy.

I am bit pissed on this already.

Then an ex coll replied saying e should not be the one doing the calling and such, its the responsibility of the coy.

I agreed on that.

Despite things of the past, I agreed.

Then they asked me what have I done for the coy for the past 5 months now that I am asking for my pay.

Hello! Fuck it!

My sales and pay is a different issue.

I have fulfilled my working hours and I should be paid on my basic pay.

Not looking at performance and reports.

You wanna look on that, its on my comm!

They are already not paying me comm, which I am very unhappy.

Cos I didnt hit target?

So if I am just abit more to target then what?!

Fuck crap!

I already said forget it and then held my pay.

Bloody pissed!

Then they said they can sue whoever wrote on the wall post.

Please.... Try harder.

If you can do that, I will kiss my own ass!

Without names and coys mentioned and you wanna do that?!

By replying with comments, you already shoot yourself in the foot!

Telling people your credibility and responsibility as a company.

Been treating you guys as friends, thats why I didnt wanna make a fuss.

But in the end, being nice, I am being taken advantage of.

Incorrigible~

Elis also commented and shot them back.

Thank her for that.

For now, I just wanna get my pay next week and I see how much I am paid.

I have the amount roughly, anything lower, Thats it.

I'm not gonna take it down anymore...

Lets wait and see...

Ok...

Period.

Pissed to write on more.

Out...

Random

2009-08-11T15:14:00.001+08:00

Its just going to be not too long, not too short..

Haa...

There goes the long weekend...

In a blinking of eyes...

Sat slept thru till meet Loti for show "UP" at CWP...

Then Yun Dearie called, jio mahjong...

She came to fetch me and then her bro's friend..

MJ till 4am and cab home...

Slack through on Sunday...

Watched TV from 3pm to 3am...

Yesterday rot half the day and went Vivo with Lai and CK...

End of LWE...

Pretty boring eh?

Haaa...

~*~

Random pertaining to someone's blog....

Love is nothing but some feelings...

What I always said...

Love is not love without feelings...

Blame god, blame the earth, blame heaven, blame others...

But think back about your ownself...

Why does your own feelings lie? Where is your heart?

Dont preach love when you know not about it...

You arent doing what you are preaching...

Its hypocritical...

You are not respecting friends you ought to...

Look into yourself, and you know you are just an egostic freak...

You are not looking for love...

You just want attention, you just want your ego to be stroke...

Admit it...

Loser...

New Job & Random

2009-08-06T12:15:00.002+08:00

On to a new job...

Now with an engineering company, dealing with industrial heavy vechicles...

Its totally new for me, engineering industry.

But what I wish to get out of this is on the regional exposure...

I am still doing marketing, and sales, but on a regional scale now, given the fact I need to travel.

Its been long enough that I have been under achieving in life and especially in career...

Guess people have been sick and tired of hearing my shit and I am sick and tired of myself.

I had enough from being a burden to myself and to my family...

Its time to make something work for myself...

Work hard and reach high Pal...

~*~

Past weeks and months have been normal...

Mainly dinners and chill thats all...

Most of the time with Yu Xin...

Think I have been bugging her?

Haa...

In any ways, maybe should stop bothering her much...

Her work has been stressful and busy...

Just wish her all the best for her work...

~*~

Exam over 2 weeks back...

I am back to a new term of studies...

My last term for my degree...

Hope everything will go fine and I can graduate...

Last exam was kinda screwed...

Just hope I can pass...

~*~

Been seeing lotsa lovey dovey these days...

Hmmm...

Wonder is it my own feelings or the loneliness and emptiness acting on me...

In any sense, I am pretty tired of going over and over and over again the process...

Maybe I am the extra piece of jigsaw of the big puzzle...

Haa...

As what I told Dearie...

Come WHO May...

Period.

~*~

Bonkers!

2009-07-20T03:50:00.003+08:00

Last post...

More than 2 months ago...

Exam is in da house...

I been out with Xin on Friday night and Saturday night...

Till late night~

Now I am just starting to revise my paper, tonight...

I am so dead meat...

I am so screwed!!!

But I asked for me...

Hahahaha...

Bonkers...

Random

2009-04-29T16:29:00.002+08:00

Too much things in my mind...

Too much things happened...

Too much to blog, but seems empty...

Period...

For now...

Happy Birthday Dearest Gal

2009-03-18T01:38:00.012+08:00

Dearest Celest...

Sweet flowers...

For the sweetest girl...

Who melts my heart...

You are loved for who you are...

Thats what makes you special...

You deserved all the love and attention on your special day.

Happy Birthday Sweetie...

Lotsa Love...

Thomas

*First time I sent someone roses... Myself...

Blind Date Match Making?

2009-01-30T16:40:00.003+08:00

First of all,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Oh well... At this age, here is nothing much about CNY already.

2 weeks I havent updated.

Done a number of things and all.

Let me see...

I have went prawning a few times...

I met Ah Joyce for Chicken Rice FINALLY!

Then, been meeting Dar for movies etc...

Comes CNY...

First day nothing much.

As usual, went both grandma's places and then... hmm...

No program, went up to Zw's place and met SGN also...

Rot for 2 hours, went to Dar's place for MJ, lost...

2nd day, Rot at home till like almost 10pm then went to Ber's place.

Playing BJ, MJ and some Teax Hold'em.

Lost again...

I have been losing for the CNY... So I shant be gambling for this year man.

At Ber's place till like 6am, got home 7am.

Slept all the way till 5pm and then off to school I go.

Wednesday I practically got nothing but class.

Thursday was home for more than half the day.

Then decided to ask Dar go for movie.

Watched "Love Matters".

Starting was pretty ok, but when comes to ending, kinda sucky.

Then went prawning with SGN and Dar again... Till almost 6am got home...

Now i am bored at home... Sianz de lor...

~*~

That day when went to meet Ah Joyce for Chicken Rice..

Had a short talk with her.

Mentioned something about Celest...

Then Ah Joyce wanna intro me her other friends...

Asked me to go to her Facebook and see which one interest...

I was like.. DUHZ...

Not interested lor.

I dont do such kinda things lor.

I am still sticking to celest...

No matter what...

Ah Joyce asked why do I like her so much...

I cant explain...

How to explain such kinda feelings?

Then 2 days back, Mom told me to stay home on Sunday.

I have my relatives visiting.

Then she said going to intro me a girl.

Its my cousin's good friend.

I was like WTH!!!!!!!!!

Dont know what Ah Girl thinking also..

AH Girl is my cousin.

Intro me her friend?

Mom still said she is a nice girl and is a nurse..

Wah Liew!

I listen liao I also buey tahan...

Match making? Blind date?

Wah Kaoz!

Then I just casually told my mom yesterday...

I want petite girl, must be pretty and got nice boobs...

Muahahahahaha!

Then when I said this, I was with Dar yesterday and Dar just laugh...

Dar said why dont just tell mom I got her le..

Enough liao...

Haaa....

Dar also said if I said that to Mom, she will flip!

Hahahaha...

Told Mom I already got someone I like and I have been into her for months.

Mom said just make friends first lor...

Ok lor... We shall see...

I still want Celest...

She sms me this morning....

She is going Genting...

Hmmm...

When will be my turn to go with her?

Hmmm....

Dont think ba...

爱情

2009-01-15T12:25:00.001+08:00

爱情

不过是种感情与心灵上的需要和寄托。。。

摸不着

猜不透

抓不牢

却又放不掉

自古爱情多脑河

几人为爱虚红尘

Updates

2009-01-12T12:04:00.002+08:00

Birthday celebrations over le...

Last Friday went for steam boat, Crystal Jade at Holland Village, with Freeflow XLB*Xiao Long Bao...

Its amazing how many numbers of XLB we had. I know we should have eaten about 200 XLB for one table?

We were divided into 2 tables due to the big group.

Prior to that, met Yaya, Deer and Dolp with Dundee...

Shopped for my pressie and they got me a Braun Buffel wallet/card holder.

Thanks alot.

Thanks to Mini darling, Ah Ying and Cnet for the pressies too.

Went to fetch the others, who didnt know how to go Holland V after that.

Had quite a good dinner.

But went straight home after that while the rest went KTV.

Plain tired...

Apology to Ah Ber, Zw and Bryan not having enough seats.

This week, shall meet Dearie and the rest in small group for dinner again.

Last Saturday, went to watch Red Cliff 2.

Supposed to go shopping with Deer but in the end, too tired and lazy, we both stayed home and nap.

Also watched 2 Dvds, Resident Evil Degeneration and Ip Man.

Den Ah Ber came to fetch us at 10pm, went LPS eat then movie.

Show was fine, but dont expect the show to go strictly with the original novel.

After show, went to West Coast Mac...

Den Home...

Slept till 3am on Sunday and rot at home.

Ah Joyce angry with me for flying her kite not to go chicken rice with her.

None of the times confirmed lor...

Haiz...

Then yesterday asked her, bo confirm, went Sheng Shiong with Mom instead.

Kena from Ah Joyce again... =.=

Dar was supposed to come over to my place watch show and give mom some skin care products.

But in the end never... Pure lazy again...

Weekend ended just like that liao...

Should go Dua Bei Gong there pray pray before CNY comes...

See Ah Ber they all free this week or not...

Hmmm...

PS* I miss you...

Birthday... Gone

2009-01-09T16:40:00.004+08:00

Over a week no update.

Hmmm...

I have tendered my resignation, finally on Monday, 5th Jan.

I know some may think its not the best of time to quit.

But I see it as an opportunity and hope it will turn out well.

Of course, I will have to make it work and I must.

Bless me...

Last Sunday supposed to meet Celest, but in the end, she gotta go for facial.

She asked me wanna meet after 8pm, but I think it'll be tiring for her, so ask her get home rest.

Slept abit in the noon, then met Dar for movie.

"Bedtime Stories"... Not a bad show.

After show, nothing to do, called ZW.

Then we went Dar's place and play mahjong with her sister.

After that, home.

Tuesday, met up with Ah joyce.

She got thigns to tell me regarding Celest, kept dragging me to Kbox.

In the end, we had Billy Bombers instead, her treat for my birthday.

Bumped into Wayne and Geraldine.

Food pics will be up when Ah Joyce send me.

Huge portion of food.

After that, went down to Kbox for Terence, smoke and ciaoz.

Then went to meet Ah Ber anDearie, with ZW, SGN and Bryan.

Ended up having prata and maggi goreng at Serangoon Gardens.

We are pretty siao over maggi goreng. Haa..

Home at 1am. KO...

Yesterday, went to JB with Dar, SGN and ZW.

The new way to the new custom is hard winding road.

Shopped around and I didnt buy much things.

Ended up, Dar bought 2 Gucci Bags and a LV rubbish Bin.. Lolz...

SGN bought a set of LV Mahjong sia...

Waiting to do the opening ceremony!

Then bought a few DVDs, go home.

Had dinner with family, Dar followed as well.

After that, watched Saw V!

Yeah, I bought the DVD, gross lor.

But not as good as part 4, so now gotta wait for part 6.

Den Dar went home about 12am, I online abit, KO.

Yes, Ah Fang Dar went my place, but as a friend. She is just that close as a friend ya.

Haaa.....

Damm...

Serving notice, company dont give me my birthday leave and I gotta apply own leave.

WTH!

Haiz...

Tonight got steamboat at Crystal Jade, with the SBians.

Didnt expect a birthday dinner came up with 20+ people.

Kaoz...

Later go cut hair, before meeting Deer ba.

Sleepy... Haiz...

Birthday...

Just another normal off day that happened to claim it as my Birthday...

Back to One

2009-01-01T16:56:00.002+08:00

Its 2009...

Happy New Year to each and all.

New Year Eve was pretty ok.

Had buffet at Amara Hotel, though its bloody expensive, adding on I was having a headache...

I didnt eat much... Kaoz!

Met Ah Fang Dar Dar earlier, supposed to watch shows and yet again, she got disppointed.

No time slots and seats already for the timing we wanna watch.

So, we shop sop around, headed down to Sim Lim to wait for SGN and SCB.

Ended up waited for over an hour and still not here.

Cos that SCB's BF didnt wanna put down the phone!

And she asked me go to hell, while I was waiting till abit pek chek liao!

NB!!!

Not for SGN's face, I would have shoot the hell outta her.

Nevermind.

*Cool..........

After dinner, went to Pub 33, as usual.

Zw opened a bottle, they drink and ki siao.

Not much people. Mainly cos of police's raid.

Twice last week.

In the end, Ah Ying they all came down.

This countdown is probably the least people I have seen.

Haaa... But its ok, have my bunch of good friends around.

Yun Dearie is suppsed to give me a new year kiss!

But Ah Ber said no!

In the end.. Me and Ah Ber kissed each other's cheek behind Dearie's back while she was being hugged in between us.

Muahahahaha.... OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then count down le, we decided to go Ah Ber's place for mahjong!

Some play MJ and some blackjack.

Me and Dar lost $20 each.

Stayed till this morning 7+ den got home.

Now... They deciding to go prawning or not.

Like been spening alot of money...

Haiz...

Ya, its back to one.

1st of January, start of the year.

The past year.. Hectic and rocky for me.

Or rather, for the past years.

Be it work, relationship and life...

I prayed... I wished...

I will work harder this year...

Earn my money, finish my studies, get my car and lighten up the family.

Except for one thing I am still helpless..

Celest...

Hmmm...

Hmmmm...

Hmmmmm...

Random Again...

2008-12-28T15:53:00.003+08:00

There goes the X'mas and coming the New Year.

Was at Pub 33 during X'mas eve.

It seems like everyone had fun.

But I know there are some who didnt had much fun...

Haa...

Anyway, Friday evening, after blogging, I just told SGN lets go Bugis.

Seriously didnt know what to do, so just headed there.

Had wanton mee for dinner, then waited for Mini to come down.

We seated at the stall for 2 hours and then came Jervon they all.

Mini then left for Bedok to meet friends for supper.

We went over to clementi to collect car and then, Ah Fang Dar Dar called.

She initially wanted to ask me to go supper, in the end, she followed us to go Prawning.

Sent ZW home first to change, then pick Dar up.

Went to 85 for supper, picked Mini then to Bishan.

After which Jervon and Eason came only.

Prawned till morning about 5.30am, then went home.

Dead tired...

Next day, Dar not working, so thought of asking her go movie.

Ended up, we shop and shop and shop and she bought a number of things.

She also gotten me an early Birthday Pressie!

New Diesel Fragrance!

I saw it last week when I was out with Loti aka Jessica aka MiiMelody.

I thought the bottle was really nice and didnt know Dar got me that!

Thanks alot Dar...

Ya, we shopped till legs tired.

Den SGN went to return car to Ah Ber.

They asked me go down for dinner, by time they all had dinner, me and Dar already done with dinner and going back.

Told bus 190 back.

Bloody cold to the max! The aircon was full blast!

Told out my jacket for Dar to wear instead.

Got home, watched TV till 3am in the morning.

Then KO.

OK... Question here: Why did I call Ah Fang Dar Dar? She also called me Dar Dar...

Dont get it wrong, we are not couple or what.

*Erm.. we used to be like 11 years ago?

Ya, me and Fang knew each other 12 years back.

We were together but not for long.

But on and off, we always maintain contact.

She got 2 sweet little kids now.

Though love life hasnt been good for her, but she is still hanging on.

Nothing Ai Mei between me and her.

We both are just very close friends now.

Yeah~

Meeting Dar again later, maybe for show.

She wanna watch "Bedtime Stories"

At first thought I would be meeting Celest, but she actually meant next Sunday.

Oh well...Slowly ba... Have to take it really slow.

OK... Last night mood was pretty down.

Feeling worthless and disappointed about myself and my life.

Not to say much about how I felt.

I just hope and I will make sure, my new job, I will earn the money and make it for myself!

I need the money for family, for my studies and for my life!

Enough of let downs...

Too many thoughts in my mind...

Too many...

P/S: Congrates to Ah Ber's brother and Gf..

Its their wedding day...

May you both be happily ever after...

Forever...

Random

2008-12-26T19:08:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time again since I last updated.

Though I am on leave but I have been going back office almost everyday.

Issues and programs to handle.

Its time… I am losing the whole motivation big time.

Time to throw in the letter.

X’mas is over, just like tat.

Down at Pub 33 and have fun with the rest.

Did I really have fun?

I also not sure.

Met Ah Joyc and shopped around Jurong Point on Tuesday noon.

My CO put in so much effort on JP and its unbelievably big, double the size now.

But I was impressed with the tenants being brought in.

Like Fig and Olive, and NTUC xtra that opens 24 hours for them.

Anyway, walked around with Ah Joyce, chatted abit and then she dragged Celest down.

Wait for Celest at Coffee Bean for 2 hours but in the end she went back home.

Anyway, her place is walkable from JP.

Ah joyce got abit frustrated and forced Celest to come down.

Well, I was pretty cool.

Of cos would love to see her, for the fact I haven’t seen her for 3 months, but I was still cool about it.

She came about 9+.

We headed back to Coffee Bean again and chilled out.

Then then started talking about ex Bfs, good guys and bad guys.

Oh well… Subjective issues.

Of most cases I have seen, good and stupid is a fine line.

Bad guys? Its always the ‘In’ thing.

I shall just persist, be patient and take it slow.

Love these days….

Underestimated but yet over-rated.

Contradicting huh…

That's Love…

Went to Impy and Pan’s place for simple dinner and chill.

Nice place they have.

Evny the happily married couple.

After that, head back home, nuah.

Initially meeting Ah Joyce for supper at 1am.

But too late, so didn't go in the end.

I am now bored, feeling abit down.

Don't know where to go and what to do.

Hmmm…

Random entry:

Its good someone moved on after getting outta a r/s.

But then again, if you moved on to another shit hole, whats that then?

But then again, you never know until you fell in it.

Maybe from an asshole to shit hole is better.

Oh well…

No mood to blog now…

Later…

Merry X’mas…

Not too merry after all…

烦。。。

2008-12-04T01:00:00.002+08:00

Sick...

I am seriously very scik for past 2 days.

Havent been that sick for quite some time.

Guess its probably due to late nights and heaty and with stress from all directions adding on.

Things havent been going well...

Work is still alot to handle...

School fees due to pay.

Haiz...

Nana had an anxiety attack 2 days back...

Scared the hell outta me.

Asked my Bro come down, send her see doc and then home.

Think I am mainly blamed for that...

Haiz...

Sorry Nana...

Please take care of your health...

烦烦烦。。。

Hate Myself

2008-11-27T18:38:00.002+08:00

I am unhappy...

I hate myself...

I done the wrong thing...

I hurt people...

I screwed things up...

I felt terrible...

Sorry wont help...

It wont take away what has been done...

It wont erase the pain...

It wont take away the sin...

I hate this feeling...

I hate what had happened...

I hate what I had done...

I hate myself...

Hate me...

Just hate me...

Random

2008-10-24T16:25:00.002+08:00

Seems like I havent had the mood or inspiration to update my blog.

Cos nothing much la.

My life is practically stagnant now.

Work, Study, Home...

Ok la... SB forum did have some outings.

Made some friends, carp abit.

Went out with Yun dearie, Ber, Mini and Jaja for Subway dinner at Far East Plaza.

After that, went to Crystalbelle to sing.

Then Ber sent us home.

Thank you brother.

~*~

Ok, today is the 3rd day Celest is away.

She went Taiwan with her Mom.

Such a filial daugther.

Well, she will be back on 29th next week.

She said she will see if she can get me anything.

Hmmm... I just want her enjoy herself and come back safely with her Mom la.

At least I know she got the heart la.

Heee.....

Hmmm... Told her something last Monday night.

Things and reactions still normal from her.

Oh well... Slow and steady ba.

=)

~*~

I cant wait for X'mas!

Cos get bonus and then can throw letter!

=X

Shant disclose anything...

Shhhh.....

Carl Jung and Isabel Myers-Briggs typology

2008-10-16T15:45:00.001+08:00

For those who wanna know more about yourself.
I am sure some had done this...

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

Idealist Portrait of the Healer (INFP)

Healers present a calm and serene face to the world, and can seem shy, even distant around others. But inside they're anything but serene, having a capacity for personal caring rarely found in the other types. Healers care deeply about the inner life of a few special persons, or about a favorite cause in the world at large. And their great passion is to heal the conflicts that trouble individuals, or that divide groups, and thus to bring wholeness, or health, to themselves, their loved ones, and their community.

Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods. In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity (around one percent of the population), Healers can feel even more isolated in the purity of their idealism.

Also, Healers might well feel a sense of separation because of their often misunderstood childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood-they are the prince or princess of fairy tales-an attitude which, sadly, is frowned upon, or even punished, by many parents. With parents who want them to get their head out of the clouds, Healers begin to believe they are bad to be so fanciful, so dreamy, and can come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. In truth, they are quite OK just as they are, only different from most others-swans reared in a family of ducks.

At work, Healers are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. Healers are keenly aware of people and their feelings, and relate well with most others. Because of their deep-seated reserve, however, they can work quite happily alone.

When making decisions, Healers follow their heart not their head, which means they can make errors of fact, but seldom of feeling. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, like the other Idealists, a remarkable facility with language. They have a gift for interpreting stories, as well as for creating them, and thus often write in lyric, poetic fashion. Frequently they hear a call to go forth into the world and help others, a call they seem ready to answer, even if they must sacrifice their own comfort.

Princess Diana, Richard Gere, Audrey Hephurn, Albert Schweiter, George Orwell, Karen Armstrong, Aldous Huxley, Mia Farrow", and Isabel Meyers are examples of a Healer Idealists.

Random Update

2008-10-06T17:50:00.002+08:00

I been lazy updating.

Making this short.

Nothing much over the weekend.

Was pretty sick.

So Saturday didnt go out.

Sunday whole day, waited for Celest at home.

Till 8.30pm then meet her to watch "画皮" at Jurong Point.

About till 11pm, then walked her home.

Insisted on walking her home.

Haa...

Told her I really do enjoy every second spent with her, though time usually short.

Always looking forward to the next coming Sunday to meet her.

Hope able to spend more time with her...

*No... We are not together... I only hoping... =.=

Taking it really slow...

She sms me good night before she slept...

Calling me "Sweet 男孩"...

Haa... I am more like a "傻男孩"...

>.<

Whatever

2008-10-02T14:53:00.002+08:00

Alot of things to update actually.

But I dont feel like writing so much things.

Mainly, alot of things passed and nothing significant.

People around me getting attached.

People I used to love are all attached.

Its usually the after thing, when people write about how they feel and such,

then you will know all those in the past, how insignificant things can be.

Everything what your partner says to you will be valid only at that point of time.

At the sweet periods when both are together.

Maybe I myself has really been lousy, a bad boyfriend.

I always felt I havent been someone likable.

Not only a single case, I have been blame for things etc after the whole thing is over.

Then after that, you will realise, your previous partner actually cares and cant let go of the one before you instead of yourself.

Kinder sad and pathetic huh?

All along, I felt myself like a hospital.

People got hurt, come in, rest, recuperate and bye...

Nice huh?!

Singapore girls these days are pretty hard to please.

Everyone seems to say they only want things simple.

Even the simplest action is good enough to touch them.

Ya...

I guess too much Korean dramas already...

Certain things look too good on TV...

When in fact, the guy did it,

the girl will end up saying its tupid and Bo Liao...

Many a times, its the girl who missed out the simplest thing,

cos when attached, they look at bigger and more complicated things.

SOME... I am saying SOME!

Women are just hard to please.

Simple things not that we cant and we didnt do,

its just after we attained it, they will say its only right we do them.

Then, they asked for more.

The more they asked, the more things dont get simple anymore.

Thats when they start neglecting and forgetting about the small and sweet gestures!

Ya ya...

Many will start debating and making nosies...

End of the day, ask yourself in your heart truthfully.

Did your partner do all those you wanted?

Did they not do or did you forget?!

~*~

Well...

Anyway...

Shall stop here.

Dont know why my sudden mood and getting abit worked up.

Weather hot, body's internal heat I guess?

Whatever........

Period.

Happy Birthday... Amber Sweetie

2008-09-22T18:03:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday to the sweetest and cutest gal...

Amber Sweetie..

Amber Sweetie and her beloved Esther Yiyi Mimi...

~*~

sigh.....

Wedding event at NTU

2008-09-10T17:32:00.003+08:00

Went on Monday to NTU Auditorium to help Von out.

She was working on a wedding setup for a couple from NTU.

Helping her with the decors and giving some ideas.

The florist helping to décor the place is really slow and doing a lousy job lor…

Stayed with her to help out till 1am.

Then went off with her,

We went off in cab and she dropped me first.

I then scrambled for food at home.

Cos I havent take dinner!

End up, fried an egg and eat with bread...

Then KO!

Next day I was on off.

But 9+am, I got outta house to collect watch for my bro in town.

Then was going all around town for Von.

Looking for bowls, pens, guests book etc.

Some items sure are hard to find,

When you wanna look for the correct one.

Finally done about 12+.

Took cab and rush to NTU.

All decors were supposed to be done up by 1pm,

End up, a lot of things not done.

So started coordinating and helping out.

After which, Von’s sister and friends came as well.

The whole wedding started at 3+pm.

Nothing much la…

Though got press came,

TCS 8 and was broadcast on the news that very evening.

All of us were having soar feet and hungry lor.

Waited till like 5+ then we can get to eat.

Thankfully got Von’s sister to talk and crap,

She everything also wanna take back home..

Glasses la, stands la, even table flowers also.

Haa..

When the event proper started,

Nothing much to coordinate le..

So at least got someone to entertain me la..

Lolz…

Whole thing ended about 6pm.

So while waiting for the florists to clear things,

We just clear what we can, rest abit and slack.

Till about 8+ then we left.

Von and sister ta bao a lot of food sia…

I think total about 10 packs!

Lolz…

Including the top layer of the wedding cake.

Her sister was trying to hide here and there…

Haa…

Von dropped me at my place then went back.

Dead tiring man…

But in the end,

I still slept almost at 2am.

Was watching TV la…

My Fred Perry shirt kena wax!

Big patch of wax ok!

Damm!

I kena a tealight candle and all the wax splash onto my back.

My shirt kena, my back kena!

Thankfully not that painful.

But my shirt…

Argh…..

Hopefully my can settle it for me.

Kaoz…

Yawns….,,

This Sunday is Cindy’s wedding…

Have to go Conrad…

Haiyo..

Cant meet Celest…

AGAIN!

Oh well..

Told her next week we meet then must take photo ok?

Haa…

But she no reply lah.. =.=

Class later…

Sianz man~

I am broke!

I need money!!!

Should I change job?

When should I tender?

Can I make it the other side?

Ponder pondering pondered…

~*~

Von just sms me.

Said next time she got wedding event,

She will get me to help her.

Be her right hand man and help her oversee..

Lolz...

Got time and chance, I dont mind.

Expend my contacts, learn more.

Events ma...

My kinda line ya~!

Waves of Thoughts...

2008-09-08T11:50:00.001+08:00

There goes the weekend again…

Oh man,

You can never get enough of rest I tell you.

I have been roting at home over the weekends.

*Damm.. if only Tina is around...

Friday I went home straight after class.

Saturday I woken up with a blasting headache and a weird tummy.

Sure enough, whole Saturday, I was feeling kinda sick.

I felt so bloated, kept burping.

My headache set me bedridden.

I seriously cant do anything when headache comes.

So after waking up at 12pm, do some housework and stuff,

I knocked out again at 4pm while reading.

All the way till almost 8pm.

I think about 7pm, Lin called me.

I saw a missed call on my mobile and sms.

I was so ‘Seh’ that I didn’t hear anything.

Till Lin called my house.

She asked me to go down Acoustic and company her work.

Cos the waitress there can served the table of customer they called down.

Told her see how cos I was feeling unwell.

After that, continue to rot on the sofa, watching Geographic Channel.

Then she sms me again think about 9pm, said she not working le.

Seriously, I did thought of going down.

But then, I don’t drink, alone there, also bit sianz.

So.. Oh well…

Lai sms me go CDANS bowl.

Same thing, just don’t feel well enough.

So didn’t go in the end also.

Then Mini sms me asked me wanna go prawning with her and friends or not.

Its like almost 1AM!

Energy level almost empty liao.

Haa…

So I think she still went ahead in the end.

Being young, energetic eh…

Me old le…

Oh…

I was online…

With who?

With Meijuan and cant remember who liao..

Then was in a way ‘chatting’ with Esther.

I know she has been feeling rather low in a way.

She cant sleep and as usual, her back is giving her problem again.

Its almost 2am and she aint asleep…

Then she logged out without notice.

Well… Expected.

I’m still feeling kinda regretful how things between us turned out like this.

Was it the choice and decision I made?

Definitely not hers, cos she never regrets.

Oh well…

I just hope she will stay happy and be blessed.

As always since day one, what I have wished for her.

Sunday noon,

She mms a picture to me.

Its Amber sweetie!

Amber is coming to 4 years old soon.

She has grown up to be such a fine and pretty little lady.

Damm…

I miss her…

Then in the morning, got a sms from Sharon,

Calling me Thomas Gor Gor…

=.=

She was asking if Monday I’ll be free to do dinner.

Its actually for Bryan’s birthday.

I thought it was really sweet and nice of her.

Given what happened in the past, she still maintained her open heart.

That’s what I like about Sharon.

She is not pretentious and has a big heart.

She actually has matured thinking of her own,

Seeing things from some abstract views,

Which some don’t and treating her as ignorance.

But wont be meeting them today cos Bryan aint free.

Maybe tomorrow.

If we do meet up,

It’s the reunite of the FAINTastic 4, only for few hours.

The days can never ever be back again.

Its memories so fond..

At least, for me…

Everyone gotta move on…

Zuwee aka Endless Rain msned me…

She got extra tickets to Misia’s concert!

Man.. its tempting to go…

Misia is such a powerful diva…

But its on Saturday evening at Expo sia…

Thinking to go or not.

If going, then I’ll be going with Raphy…

If only I can ask Celest along…

If she is free la… Cos Sat she always bo eng de…

Hmmm….

~*~

Just wanna rant abit on something.

Its what I think and see, but might not be entirely true.

I think I did mention before.

Couples, when started out together,

Every single little thing means so much.

At that point of time, you are so into the other person,

Everything seems sweet and significant.

As time goes by, we slowly neglect the simple gestures.

Either ways,

Either we neglect doing it, or noticing.

When a couple splitted, you will forget a lot of them.

Then each individual will start thinking what are the significant things and sacrifices they had done.

And compare what the other party had not done.

Of course, not all cases are like these.

So I was thinking…

Human…

Only wanna remember what other owe us, but not what we owe others.

We remember the negative more than the positive.

Especially in relationship.

When a breakup occurs, its usually cos of negative things.

So naturally, the impact is bigger.

Chinese saying also reflect the negative impact leaves a deeper impression.

e.g 遗臭万年...

Though Chinese saying also got good ones like 名留千古…

But compare this.

万年 is million of years…

千古 is thousand of years…

So it apparently means the negative and bad spread the impact longer and more extensive?

There is another saying…

一失足，成千古恨…

Which apparently means,

No matter how many good you have done,

One wrong step is enough for people to portrait the negative image of you.

I aint sure why am I writing these for…

Just some thoughts, not entirely representative…

Its for reading pleasure…

~*~

Oh yah!

Last Thursday while on the way home from work,

I alighted at Jurong East Interchange.

Then I saw QY on the NE line train, but was a bit pack, so I just waved to her.

After that, I saw another familiar face beside her.

Its another QY!

Its Ah Yuan, Qiao Yuan!

Lai’s sister la.

I was like huh?!

So I quickly went into the train.

It was such a coincident!

That QY and Ah Yuan are friends.

Ah Yuan still asked me if I remember who she is…

=.=

I asked her, how long has she knew me?

Its more than 10 years lor.

I knew Lai for 15 years, I knew her sis almost like about the same time.

Cos we were buddies ma.

I seen Ah Yuan since she was only a primary school gal.

Till now, she is ready to get married le lor.

Anyway, it is really a small world…

So…

I guess, we really gotta be careful in our actions and words and know who we are dealing with…

Haa…

Oh well…

End of post…

Back to work…

Wonder if I can get to meet Celest this weekend.

Sunday is Cindy’s wedding.

A good friend, cannot miss de…

Sigh…

Everyone is settling down…

What am I doing?

I am still circling…

诅咒

2008-09-05T15:28:00.001+08:00

心里有点不平衡的感觉。。。

怪怪的。。。

这段期间，

好像没什么能震起我的精神。

最近，

周边的人，

尤其是女生，

都沉醉在幸福的爱河里。

我还在寻找。。。

寻找那份，

我长期以来，

坚信不移，

真挚，

纯真，

执着。。。

的爱。。。

男人，

不可信。。。

可信的，

被竹杆，一船打翻了。

我是被诅咒的。。。

心里有点闷。。。

Hmmm...

2008-09-02T17:37:00.001+08:00

Oh well,

I have got nothing much to do now cos the server is updating and I cant access it.

Most of my documents and working files are in the server network.

So might as well just do some updating here.

Nothing much over the weekend actually.

I was practically home the whole day.

I met up with Von on Thursday evening and companied her to COMEX and then met Tina at MS for coffee.

Friday went Holland V to meet Tina again and we chilled at Coffee Club.

Saturday stayed home and rot all the way.

Sunday helped Mom prepare for Grandma’s birthday celebration.

Ordered buffet and asked all relatives to come my place.

It was one hell of a mess!

Especially you know there were so many people and adding to the buffet and some of Mom’s cooking.

But for the sake of my Grandma, its definitely something we would love to do for her.

Its her 96th birthday ok?!

After that, rested for about 1-2hours, then off to the mall I went.

Back to office for the Mid-Autumn setup.

People start work on Monday, but I always start work on Sunday.

Monday was practically in a hibernating mood man.

Went home straight after work and nuah.

Till Tina called then I went down to meet her and chill for another while.

Today, she is going back to London to continue her studies.

This time now, she is already halfway on the plane.

I know she didn’t wanna leave.

Of cos, she misses her Mom a lot.

She misses a lot of things back here.

No doubt…

This is where we were born,

Where we grew up.

So many friends, relatives and fond memories.

Anyway, it will be the last time she is going back as she will be finishing her studies in 10months time.

Definitely, I would miss her.

She is just such a wonderful company and great friend of mine.

We have been talking about some entrepreneur ideas.

I shall find a day to share the ideas here.

Haa… By MIss Tina Lee!

Ok…

Though I have known her for years, but we have never taken a picture with her together.

Shall upload one tonight or so.

Haa…

~*~

Saw Eva online that day, but she was away.

Saw her pic and she had her right arm bandaged up.

Wonder what happened to her…

Hmmm…

~*~

3rd week haven’t met Celest liao…

Oh man…

Hopefully this Sunday she will be free.

Havent have enough chance to catch up and spend more time with her.

Hmmm…

Oh well…

~*~

Lai ask me go bowling.

He just went to check out the balls we were aiming.

Hmmm… $320 leh…

Haiz…

Damm gian to buy.

But not this month.

I am totally broke after paying up everything.

Argh~~~~~~~~

5.40pm…

Still deciding.

Damm lazy to come out again after getting home…

Sianz~

~*~

I HAVE A BORING BLOG!

ok... The blogger is boring...

Yeah...

I know...

=.="

RetroMania D&D!

2008-08-28T11:25:00.009+08:00

Okie,

yet again, havent been updating.

What had happened over the past 1 week odd, I seriously cant remember.

I only know before last weekend, me and colleagues were fanatically looking for retro clothings.

Cos 22 August was our D&D!

Ok, I didnt really dress up that much la.

Let the pics do the talking... Not alot though.

The Beauties of TBP!

Crazy management of TBP

The "Cheeko Peh" look of Wayne!

Pic with our Deputy GM. Far left behind.

Full TBP team! Not really all la..

Sharmsir and Ah Yeo! Some kinda horny look!

Big group pics of us from different malls!

Irene and Me!

Muahahaha! The 4 Bengs from TBP!
BTW, the one is maroon is my Manager, my direct boss.

Haa!

After the D&D, a big group of 20 over of us went pubbing/clubbing.

Wanted to go New Asia Bar, then realised its under renovation.

Went to Ink Bar, music not to our liking.

Went to my favourite Insomia, too packed!

So we ended up this pub at CHIJMES called,

Discovery Pub.

The reason why we went there was becos its the only place can fit all of us!

When we got seated and ordered a bottle of Vodka (For a few of us la, cos all scattered in 3 ares of tables), we heard some music and singing. Its live band by the way.

But guess what?!

Its all Thai performancers!

Muahahaha~~~~~~!!!

Yes, there are Thai songs, English, Chinese and even Cantonese!

Pretty impress by them la.

There were alot of hot babes on stage too!

I think we were simply indulging in our ouwn world,

we were the only gang dancing on the floor.

While all others were watching.

We simply cant get enough from the D&D la.

It was seriously great fun.

I thought we should have such kinda gathering more often man...

With other colleagues of the malls so we can get to know one another better.

Increase cohesiveness and efficiency of all the malls ma.

After that night,

I kinda got paralysed on Saturday.

Haaa.... Slept till almost 4pm!

Night went bowling then Sunday, I was home all the way.

Monday sure came fast with work huh...

Sianz...

Tuesday evening met up with Tina again for dinner.

Lin jio me go pub, but too late, cos i already made appointment with Tina.

Tina leaving next Tuesday back to UK.

Oh man, I am sure gonna miss her.

My bestest female buddy ever!

Probably meeting her tonight again... To buy mooncakes.. Haa...

Yesterday lesson.

Yun and Lin went pub again.

Haiz... Emo emo shit...

Its the tread these days huh?!

Oh well, just worried for the gals...

Nothing else...

As SGN always say.

So what? What can you do?

True...

Oh well...

Got more to blog...

Now lunch time...

Later...

No Have Title...

2008-08-21T16:00:00.000+08:00

Ok…

I haven’t been blogging for the past 1 week.

I am just too lazy and tired and seriously nothing significant for me to blog about.

Last of whole week was just plain boredom for me la.

Friday ended class, got home, rot…

Though lasr Friday was Mommy’s birthday but didn’t celebrate cos its mid 7th Month.

Saturday, was home whole day.

Till so bored at night, jio my family play Mahjong.

Won 18 bucks…

Sunday… Cos Celest going to have exam on Monday, so didn’t meet her on Sunday.

Rot at home throughout again, online, watched Olympic, then evening had dinner celebration for Mom’s birthday.

Argh… 4D opened the numbers we prayed for on Friday. But the number jumped and I didn’t buy that particular combination.

Kaoz! There goes $500…

Then, evening about 10pm, went back to office to oversee some setup.

Guess what time I stayed up till?

6am in the morning!

Yeah… after that, I took a cab home and KO.

Cos Monday I aint working.

Went to settle my brother’s watch and roam around.

Supposingly to meet Celest for movie and dinner but last minute in the morning, her Mom told her to go for 7th Month dinner.

So didn’t get to see her this week.

Monday late noon, was just roaming town looking for my clothes for D&D…

Lin called. She was freaking bored.

Claiming no one dated her out or bringing her out.

So end up, she came over, met up in City Hall.

Went over to NYNY for dinner.

Pasta for her. COs she had this craving for pasta…

Didn’t manage to finish her food though.

After that, went over to Marina Square, shop shop abit.

Wanted to go look for SGN, but last minute, he needed to go off, so didn’t go.

Lin too tired, took cab home while I had my slow ride on bus back home.

Tuesday…

Evening met Jenny up for dinner, then got my abit retro glasses.

Went to SGN there, beside his shop got sell.

He called up the boss, then after that, ask me just take and go.

Ermmm… and so I did!

Haa...

Wednesday…

Meeting meeting then to town with my Marketing AM look for clothes.

She really cham.. duno what to wear.

I thought I was worse cos I simply cant find cos selections limited.

Oh well, later I have to go and settle it.

Or not, tomorrow D&D liao.

Celest went Malaysia today.

Say go there see see look look.

So I probably be meeting her only next Saturday, if she free la.

Sunday will be grandma birthday.

Unless she agreed on coming to my place, or not I probably have to see some other days.

=(

Oh well… Chances are there…

Tired..

Very tired these days.

Last time I put:

Mentally, Physically and Emotionally Drained.

Now add one more…

FINACIALLY!

Yes… drained…

Sigh…

Zodiac Compatibility and about Me! Capricon! Meh.....

2008-08-14T13:51:00.005+08:00

Came across this while I was reading some zodiac thingy...

For those who read, for your info as well...

The Signs of the Zodiac: Compatibility

The signs of the Zodiac. Nearly as old as history itself is mankind’s attempt to unravel the mysteries of the universe by looking to the stars. Imbedded deeply within our subconscious is a strong desire, if not longing to understand the deeper meaning of life and how it affects us on a day to day level.

The history of the Zodiac dates back to antiquity, and has played a part in human history spreading across all cultures. Evidence of this can be seen in the fact that even today many believe that events within the heavens have a direct impact on our own affairs.
So where exactly did this belief come from? We should start with the word itself. Zodiac can be translated literally as “circle of animals.”

There are 12 sings as follows:
Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces.

The sign in which the sun is present on your date of birth is your Zodiac sign. According to belief, your Zodiac sign provides you with a glimpse of your inherent personality. While this does not mean that all individuals within a specific sign will be identical, it is used as a guideline.

Each of these Zodiac Signs is also classified into one of four elements:

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius are Fire Signs
Gemini, Libra and Aquarius are Air Signs
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces are Water Signs
Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are Earth Signs

Since it is believed that the sign to which one belongs can be used as a good starting point for gaining insight into one’s true nature, it was only a matter of time before these signs were used to chart potential compatibility.

The idea was that if you can know in advance what personality traits tend to mesh well together, then it would stand to reason that a persons Zodiac sign would be a great shortcut to identifying a potential partner.

Here is a brief overview of the potentially compatible signs:

Aries: Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra Taurus: Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Pisces, and Scorpio
Gemini: Libra, Aquarius, Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius Cancer: Scorpio, Pisces, Virgo, Taurus, and Capricorn

Leo: Sagittarius, Aries, Libra, Gemini, and Aquarius

Virgo: Taurus Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces Libra: Gemini, Aquarius, Leo, Sagittarius, and Aries

Scorpio: Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn, Virgo, and Taurus Sagittarius: Leo, Aries, Libra, Aquarius, and Gemini

Capricorn: Virgo, Taurus, Scorpio, Pisces, and Cancer

Aquarius: Gemini, Libra, Aries, Sagittarius, and Leo

Pisces: Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn, Taurus, and Virgo

This list is based off of an extensive analysis of personality traits such as passion, loyalty, aggressive, energetic, creative, and much more. It is believed that by following the guidelines of the Zodiac, you will lead a fuller, happier an ultimately more successful life.

So where does that leave us in this modern age? While it is not our place to judge the merits of such widely held beliefs, certain facts are undeniable. For instance, relationships are dynamic, complex and ever evolving. Certain guidelines can be applied, but there are no absolutes in today’s society.

Study, enjoy, and practice the fun and sometimes mysterious Zodiac. But ultimately, identifying a truly compatible partner will be up to you and your application of due diligence and common sense.

This is about me! I am a Meh Meh... Capricon!

Capricorn Compatibility (December 23rd – January 20th)

Capricorns are one of the strongest personality types in the entire Zodiac. They are naturally hard headed, believing that they know and possess the abilities to do tasks on their own, which can sometimes come off as conceited.

Their knowledge also makes them less creative and adventurous than many of the other zodiacs, but they possess both strong family bonds and they are very dependable, rarely deceitful for aloof.

Capricorn Compatibility

Capricorns tend to be most compatible with those that differ from them, due to the conflicting nature of their loyalty and stoicism. Pisces, for example, gets along very well with Capricorn, as Pisces are unlikely to be hurt by the Capricorn personality, and Capricorns are left alone to solve problems on their own.

There are very few great matches in terms of Capricorn compatibility, other than other Capricorns, but they do match well with both Taurus and Aries in terms of their outlooks towards life. The three of them are goal oriented, and Taurus and Capricorn mesh together well as far as philosophically and spiritually.

They are not, however, compatible with Leo, as the Capricorn is generally detached and does not show emotion well. They are similarly incompatible with Gemini, who often shares a completely different life outlook that does not complement the other. With Cancers, they are almost the complete opposite, and Aquarius and Capricorn can easily not get along.

Virgo and Capricorn get along well as friends, though their personalities can differ too much in a deeper relationship. Libras, as well, have a good chance for a friendship but deeper relationships involve a lot of personal adjustment that often times Capricorns are unwilling to make.

Capricorn’s compatibility depends in large part on whether the other person can break through the Capricorn’s rough exterior. There is a great deal of emotion bottled up inside Capricorns, but it takes an equally great deal of affection in order to get it to express itself.

STAY OFF!

2008-08-12T16:30:00.002+08:00

Early in the morning...

Read an email...

Farking tenant complain...

Pissed to the max!!!

Set up meeting today...

Boss never come work, think on course.

Never say...

Executive going on off...

Fine...

Kinda getting sick of my job...

Not exactly the job, just some people I liaise with...

Some Farking Pea brains...

Stupid pay and doing so much things...

No OT...

Off accumulate like 30days hard to claim...

Leave now got 28 days, which 21 needs to be cleared by end of the year...

No increment...

Cant see prospect...

WTF am I doing?!

Phui Phui Phui!!!

Argh......................

~*~

BAD MOOD!

STAY OFF!

Weekends...

2008-08-11T18:12:00.002+08:00

Okie..

Updates for weekends…

Friday… what did I do?

I think I went to school for lesson.

Finally.. A bigger class!

More gals!

Woooooooo!!!

Haaa… But I not really interested la…

I prefer smaller class that we can mingle.

After that, SGN picked me up to YOU Bar.

Lin and QY drinking there.

2 unhappy gals?

After like 5mins, we went off.

Supposingly sent Lin home, ended at Clementi for food cos Lin hungry.

Then we went over Chevron to bowl.

Lin was stoning like a zombie…

Should have gone home and rest lor.

Haiz..

Saturday…

Sleep till…forgot what time liao.

What did I do on Saturday?

Hmmm…

Oh!

Ya.. Was chatting with Lin online, then she went Yun’s place and mahjong in the evening.

I went Square2 to look for something for mom but didn’t get it in the end.

Then went down to Yun’s place for Mahjong.

After that came SGN, Bob and Brian.

Was winning over 20 bucks first round…

After changed of place, lost 6 bucks. =.-

Then went over to Joo Chiat for supper and home.

Slept at 5.30am…

Woke up next morning at 10.30am!

Early sia!

Was online till 2pm then off to Chovin’s place.

Baby Shine’s first month!

Forgot take picture of Baby Shine.

Reached there, only saw Coco and her hubby.

CL went at 12pm, Slapper never come, Shanthi and Charlina never come.

All fly kite sia!

Oh well, since that’s the case, I didn’t stay for long and left.

Then met Celest for dinner and movie.

Wanted to meet at Vivo, but thinking cab fare home, siong leh.

Then I suggested go TBP la.

Can have dinner, after movie, can see abit of setup then claim cab home!

Hahahahaha..

I am bad and cheapo!

Told Yun its call utilizing of resources and minimize my expenses…

True ya?!

Watched The Mummy…

Oh well, nothing much. Thought the movie was like dying to get over asap.

Part 1 and 2 still better.

Wanted to watch Love Guru but TBP no have.

Next week after her exam then watch ba.

She also into horror movie…

Say wanna scared me… =.=

Well, after that, I saw the setup for awhile then we left.

Sent her home and then home for me.

Blink!!!

Monday liao…

=.=

sianz sianz sianz…

Lin was looking for someone to hang out with her.

But I need to meet mommy...

So... Sorry dear gal...

Please cheer up and dont think so much...

We are worried for you...

Sigh.........

七夕情人节快乐

2008-08-07T11:10:00.005+08:00

今天是七夕情人节，祝大家七夕情人节快乐！

借此，给大家了解一下七夕情人节的由来和习俗。

~*~

传说古时候有个善良的年轻人，名叫牛郎。
他的父母早逝，跟着兄嫂过活。

苛刻的嫂子常常欺负他，最后还唆使兄弟二人分家，自己占据了土地和房屋，只把一条老牛分给牛郎。

这条老牛却不是一般的牛，而是天上的金牛星变的，它因为触犯了玉皇大帝的天条，被玉帝贬到凡间为牛。

它看见善良的牛郎受人欺负，就决定要帮助他。

有一天，它忽然开口告诉牛郎，东边的山下有一个湖，每天黄昏会有七个仙女下到这个湖里洗澡。

只要牛郎偷走其中的一件衣裳，那个仙女无法返回天宫，就会留下来作他的妻子。

听了老牛的话，牛郎果然偷偷藏起其中一位仙女的衣裳。
等到仙女们洗完澡要回天宫时，年纪最小的织女才发现自己的衣裳不见了，急得哭了起来。

这时牛郎捧着她的衣裳出现，要求织女答应作他的妻子才把衣裳还给她。

织女看牛郎忠厚老实，便含羞的答应了。

俩人成亲后生了一对子女，男耕女织，生活十分幸福美满。但那头忠心的老牛却死了。死前它告诉牛郎，在它死后，剥下它的皮，遇到困难时，就会派上用场。

织女嫁给牛郎的消息传回去天庭后，玉皇大帝大分震怒，就派王母娘娘下凡去抓织女回来。

牛郎回家后看不到织女，急得和两个孩子放声痛哭。

忽然之间想起了老牛的叮嘱，就披上牛皮，用一担箩筐挑两个孩子，飞快地追赶王母娘娘及织女。

靠着牛皮的神奇魔力，牛郎飞也似的追上他们。

这时，王母娘娘心中一急，就拔下头上的金簪子，往地上一划，马上出现了一道波涛汹涌的天河，把牛郎和织女分隔两边。

牛郎和一双儿女站在河边大哭，哭声惊动了玉皇大帝，他一看两个孩子很可怜，就叫他们全家每年七月七日相会一次。

于是每年到了七夕，就有无数的喜鹊飞上天去，搭成了一座鹊桥，让牛郎、织女一家人渡河相会。

据说每年的七夕，人间的喜鹊就会变少，因为它们都飞上天去搭桥了。而且，一过了七夕，喜鹊头上的毛都会掉落，就是因为七夕去搭桥的缘故。

又说七夕当天晚上一定会下雨，这是牛郎、织女重逢后喜极而泣的泪水。

七夕的习俗民间信仰

七娘妈者，皆于七夕此日黄昏供祭。

供品有软粿（一种中心压凹的汤圆，传说是给织女装眼泪的）、圆仔花（即千日红，为祈求多子多孙）、鸡冠花、茉莉花、树兰、胭脂、白粉、鸡酒油饭、牲礼、圆镜。必不可少的还有一座纸扎的七娘妈亭，家有满十六岁者，特供粽类、面线。

祭后，烧金纸、经衣（印有衣裳之纸）、并将七娘妈亭焚烧，无法焚尽的竹骨架丢至屋顶，此称「出婆姐间」（婆姐，传即临水宫夫人女婢），表示该孩童已成年。胭脂、白粉一半丢至屋顶，一半留下自用，据称可使容貌与织女一样美丽。

~*~

愿天下有情人，终成眷属。。。

月老。。。

几时排到我啊？！

感觉

2008-08-04T12:14:00.002+08:00

心痛

可惜

失望

失落

迷惘

纳闷

憎恨

伤感

孤寂

我以上的每一个感觉，都有一个原由。。。

说不清,

没人了。

我感觉不到一丝的开心。。。

Reflections

2008-08-01T19:49:00.003+08:00

Some reflections... Not emo-ing k...

I realised my life, evolve around nothing...

Once I got single, realised that my daily life is kinda getting nowhere.

Of cos, work and studies aside...

After work, during weekends, I have simply nowhere to go and no one to go out with.

Yes, unless occasional weekends, Lai and CK jio me out for bowling.

Or certain Sundays meet up with Celeste.

Other than that, I practically got nothing to do.

Its that Tina is back for couple of months, then I have the chance to just meet her for coffee and chit chatting.

As mentioned in the previous post, at times I dont feel like going out.

Sometimes, its just so sianz...

You dont know who to go out with and dont know where to go as well...

Most people or rather friends out there are attached...

When you have friends attached, you know weekends are kinda hard to get them.

So well... I am just rumbling and all...

Maybe been feeling abit lonely..

As I mentioned, my mood has been fluctuating.

Oh well... Crap...

~*~

Was at Parkway 2 days back.

After a SCDF briefing, colleagues suggested go Parkway, before management meeting.

So went to the hawker to eat.

Things are just so so familiar...

So much things flashed past my mind.

Especially all the kinda memories I have with Esther and Amber.

I was thinking if I will bumped into Esther's mom.

But I didnt.

I thought it will be nice cos I will get to see Amber.

I miss Amber alot.

Its weird and amazing right?

Not my daugther or niece or what, just Esther's niece.

But she has been such a sweetie and cutie and we got along so well...

Haiz.....

Well, went to Parkway, I bumped into Sharon.

Not surprising, since she is working in Parkway.

Even if I dont bump into her, I would go and look for her and say Hi.

Still as chirpy as ever, she turned back after she wanna leave and asked me if she has put on weight.

Haaa......

The time spent with Esther, Sharon and Bryan together with Amber...

One of the best memories I have.

Was telling Yun about it and she said just think and move on.

Ya... What else can I do?

*small smile*

~*~

Last week, I told Yun and Mini something.

I dreamt about Lin 3 times for that week.

Twice on last Friday itself.

I figured that its maybe not I missed her or what.

Memories just flashed back when they feel like it.

Part of my mood probably comes from it.

It reminded me of my decision against my wish and how things turned out after that.

I think I just havent got over the fact of making a decision that makes me felt like I am betraying myself.

Looking back at the pictures taken in the past...

I realised I have taken the most pictures with Esther and Lin.

These 2 ladies did impact me alot in my course of relationships.

It also set me thinking about myself...

Of all I have done, love and efforts I have put it...

Nothing seems to matter?

Probably I aint worth...

Probably I am a lousy boyfriend.

Since both of them believe the fact and that their decision to leave me,

is right...

Through the 2 of them, I realised something.

You may not be a bad guy, you may be nice at times or what, but then, that doesnt mean you are the best.

Even a guy, whom others seen as not worth, who cant decide, who might be a jerk. (No names mentioned)

can be more missed and seen as a better person...

I cant say I am a good guy...

But the least, I felt that I have not done wrong to my gal.

Other than not able to provide as much, I believe other areas, I wont lose out to any guys.

But then again, its not a benchmark to justify anything.

Yun told me something which I felt perhaps it is the case.

Perhaps I have that kinda so called nice person...

Gals I have been have always have that kinda attentions from me.

Being nice and accomodating and all.

But due to the fact they got used to it, one word, one action wrong or doesnt seems approriate, decided the kinda of person I am and my fate.

Before anyone thinks I am complaining or pushing blames...

I am only saying perhaps..

I am not saying anyone is looking or really treating me this way.

Take it or leave it...

~*~

I felt that I havent been happy...

Really havent had anything that can really perk me up and make me smile from within.

I can only be thankful I am still alive and kicking...

I am still working and have some nice friends around...

Though I aint happy with my current state...

Cos even work is also full of crap...

I need a sign...

I need a direction...

I need...

A Miracle...

~*~

Friday...

9pm...

I am still in office...

No one to chill out...

Nowhere to go...

I am nobody...

Crap...

Updates with some craps...

2008-07-29T18:54:00.003+08:00

Wokay...

Another 1 week I havent updated anything...

BUSY BUSY BUSY!

First...

EXAMS!

The damm exams I had last week almost killed me!

Especially for the module on Product Innovation.

We were given 6 topics and 2 case studies, of which half of them will be in the main paper while the other half will be in sub paper.

1st time in my damm life I spotted exam questions like fuck!

All of those I really studied...

DID NOT COME OUT!

#$%^xyz4%^&*x$%^&y%$&z%^*............ =.=

I mean I did studied some of the others but focus more on the others...

Kaoz...

So now if I were to take sub paper... *Phui Phui... Touch Wood!*

I definitely will score de lor!

Now this module become 50-50 liao... Sigh...

~*~

Okie...

Apparently, due to exam, nothing much happened.

Except Thursday after exam, met SGN, went to his friend's place play Mahjong...

3 lose 1...

I lost $60... =.=

Got home only like 6am on Friday morning.

Went to sleep and then back to work at 3pm cos of a tenant's opening event.

Then, nothing to do, met up with Tina at the same place again.

Bukit Timah, Al- Azhar, for Teh and chill...

She is my best female pal I tell you!

Never a minute there will be boredom with her.

So much fun and crap with her.. Hahaha...

We can chat practically anything under the sun, the moon and the stars!

Even detailed about XXX....

Muahahahaha...

But of cos, we can hold off some intelligent talks as well la.

Not all the time crap.

Haa...

~*~

Oh well...

Saturday was meant to be a rotting at home day cos I simply dont feel like going out.

I have been like this for past couple of weeks.

Didnt really feel like going anywhere on a weekend.

But end up, Lai called...

"Here is the plan... first, we go CK's place wash cars, then go jogging then dinner then bowling..."

He called me with programs planned.

Jogging! OMG!

I havent been jogging like since poly days.

Jogged for 1.6km then I buey tahan liao...

In the end, Sunday i started feeling the aches on my tights and ankles...

Weak sia!

~*~

Sunday...

My colleague's House Warming.

When I reached there, then I realised its just beside CK's place!

Haaa.... dumb...

Left about 3+, walk around in Jurong Point, then to Bugis, then to City Hall.

Looking for bag but didnt get any.

Then went to look for SGN at 8pm and have dinner with him.

He drove me back to office and den he went home.

Yes.. I was in office, or rather the mall.

Till like almost 1am for overseeing setup...

=.=

My job sucks!

~*~

Monday was busy like siao...

Got to work and my phone started ringing and ringing the whole bloody day.

People coming in and out looking for me as well...

Kaoz...

Having a tiring day... I decided to go shop for bag alone.

Then got a sms from Tina, she was at Great World.

Okie! Good... Go shopping with me!

Haa..

So we met up and go shop around.

I seriously like this bag from Espirit.. but didnt wanna get it yet as I wanna explore around.

End up at Taka... Saw this Picard bag.. on sales...

Didnt really take a very good look at it and then just went off.

Had coffee and Hoon ki at Spineilli...

Then Tina told me that the bag not bad ma... somemore I got vouchers...

I was thinking... Oh yah hor...

The bag original price at $224, selling at $124, with my vouchers, I will pay only $74!

Wooohooo~! Why not!?

So after coffee, its like 9.20, we rushed back.

Who knows, security forbid us to go in liao cos Taka closing!

Damm!!!!!

Then we try to sneak in from basement and got in!

Wanna take the escalator and kena block by security again!

Nevermind, we took the lift, luckily still in function and quickly get the bag before the cashier counter really totally closed up.

Haa... I got it!

Yeah!

Thats practically what the whole week is like...

~*~

Actually I havent been feeling really good for past 2-3 weeks.

My mood is fluctuating. Most of the time, down.

Why so, Idont have much of an idea, but I guess some parts of it, I think I know why.

Mainly cos I cant get over something I have done unwillingly.

Haiz...

Much as I dont wish to be like this, at times really cant help it.

At times, become abit emo over some songs and things flashed past my mind again.

I been trying to ignore things and not be bothered.

I mean I aint exactly being bothered la... But just.. hmmm....

Duno la...

I realised some of us are just not used to being alone.

Was discussing with Yun on this.

Seriously, other than if Sunday I am meeting Celest.

Or Saturday bowling, other than that, I dont feel like doing anything at all.

I just wish to stay at home... Alone... Best...

Just maybe, dont feel that good and wish to just be alone.

I told Yun...

When nothing cheers or perks you up and seriously nothing can help anymore...

Thats when you know you have to look within yourself.

Many a time, its all in the mind.

I understand, end of the day, we are still human..

Human are complex... No logic to discuss about at times.

So....

No verdict... Everyone is different.

If not.. I only say... But yet.. Feeling mood and emo at times myself...

Oh well... Not much time to write stuffs...

In any case, this post is bit long and crappy.

Still in office now.

Gotta get off work.

Bless you peeps...

Especially YOU...

Bye...

特别的女生~Eva

2008-07-21T10:42:00.008+08:00

突然呢，我想写一则post关于这位对我来说很特别的女生。

她呢，就是Eva。

首先呢，她不是本地人，也就是说她不是新加坡人。

她是台湾澎湖人。

我是在一个叫Chatango的聊天交友网站认识她的。

其实当时也就闲着无聊，就看看有没有外国朋友可以认识。

其实有很多。那我就觉得，和一个语言和文化相同的人交谈会亲切些吧。

那我就看到网上这个女孩，有一张很清纯甜美的相片。

看一下是台湾人。。。哦，好象很不错哦。

那我本身也很喜欢台湾，也很向往去那儿啊。

对。。。我这个山龟(Sua-gu)，连飞机都没做过，更何况去台湾叻。

嗨。。。可悲。

那当时，你知道在网上，就算你要和别人聊天，别人也未必会回答你。

这个女生还算不错啦，有回应。那我们就聊起来了。

当时公司还能上Chatango，所以还有蛮多机会聊天。现在公司把它挡住了。

而且公司也不能用MSN，真是可恶极了！没机会和朋友聊天。

我们偶尔还会再网上联络啦。但通常都聊得不是很久。

那之后呢，我们都有传相片给对方。还有彼此的电话号码。虽然很少用得着。

有一次呢，我就接到了个电话。是国外打来的哦。

听了。。。有把很甜美的声音传了过来。

原来是Eva打来的哦。

那时还蛮感动的。但因为电话费贵嘛，就只聊了几分钟，就挂线了。

那之后我们还有通过一次或两次电话吧。之后就没有了。

很奇妙的是，Eva对我产生了好感。

那时我心里有想过。我们隔了千里之外，又没见过面，有可能吗？

在那儿当时，我也有女朋友，所以也没多加理会。

即时她知道，她也只把对我的那份关怀，表现在对我的关心和问候。

在指导我不开心的时候，她总是会开导我，逗我。

也让我知道无论发生什么事呢，她都会呵护着我。即使，她不在我身边。。。

就因为我们相隔那么远，她也一直感到很无奈，很纳闷。

在我和女友分手后，她还是一样对我很好。即使是在网上，但那份温馨还是感觉得到。

虽然我对她也有同样的感觉，但毕竟，我们真的相隔太远了。说起来，有点不切实际。

我知道我和霖在一起的时候，她有点难过。。。

但就是很无奈，因为她在台湾，我在新加坡，根本就没办法。

到我和霖分手后，Eva还是对我那么好。

她给我的感觉有点遥不可及，但却又很贴心。我承认我对她有好感。

前天呢，我们就在网上聊天，是用唛聊天哦。

很久没听到她甜美的声音和可爱的笑声了。感觉蛮好的。

不知不觉，我们俩竟聊了4个小时哦！！！

她很想来新加坡。或许顺利的话，她很可能今年内会来噢。

或许大概10月吧。应为跟她说了要在我比较每那么忙的时候过来，那我才有时间陪她。

她要求24小时贴身陪伴哦！要不24小时Standby!

她说要了解并希望能融入我的生活。

哈哈哈哈哈。。。被她打败了。*通常都我打败她啦。。。

说真的，我还蛮期待的。期待着见一见我这位，可谓红颜知己。

我和她在上两个星期说过。

要是5年后，她未嫁，我未娶，我就飞去台湾，把她娶过来。

我们就等着看吧。^_^

This is Eva... Lolz..

~*~

宝贝。。。

谢谢你一直以来对我的支持和爱护。

认识你，我真的很感动。

从没想到你我隔江千里，你却能如此贴近我心。

真的很感激，很谢谢你这一年多来对我的不弃不舍。

很期待你过来的那天哦！

带你去吃喝玩乐，也顺便见见一些我的好友。

我家人你见不见啊？哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。。。

你看！那么长一篇写你哦。感动吧？！

呵呵呵呵呵。。。

等你哦！

Post bit long

2008-07-17T10:21:00.002+08:00

Its been over a week since I last updated.

I have been rather busy and lazy to update any post. No mood la.

Well, I shall just briefly give an update for the past week.

Seriously, for weekdays, nothing much to expect.

Mainly is all work and studies and then home.

If not, will only be meeting friend for dinner or chit chat.

Oh ya, finally, Tina is back!

Met up with her last Tuesday for dinner at Marina Square and had coffee at Starbucks and listening to her adventures.

Seriously, she is the only one dearest female friend cum buddy whom I can crap and chat whole night without much of a silent moment. I missed all the coffee and smoking sessions with her.

Its great to have her back. For now., cos she is leaving and going back to London again in September.

Met her up like Monday again. I was having dinner with Gina then she called.

Well, since Gina always have dinner then wanna go back earlier to rest, so I thought I might as well meet Tina. Seriously, hard to find someone who can hold crap and intelligent talks at the same time.

So after Gina got on the bus, I went to wait for my bus.

It’s the first got dam time I waited for a bus at the interchange for half and hour before the bloody bus come!

I was boiling blood already!

I thought 178 could have taken me right where I wanna go.

Was supposed to meet Tina at Bukit Timah.

Who knows the bloody bus made a turn before Bukit Timah Plaza, or rather before reaching Banyan Tree(My previous workplace).

I was thinking… WTF!

I thought this bus goes to Bukit Timah Plaza? I used to take before and I doubled confirm with Gina somemore.

Damm! I got off the dam bus after it turned 2 stops later and hop on a cab.

Fucking stupid…

Finally met up with Tina, had coffee, prata, chit chat abit till like coming to 12am before we leave. Since Tuesday I aint working cos I took off for revision, so hanged out bit later la.

~*~

Oh yah, on Sunday, met up Ber and Yun for revision for exams.

Cos Ber is having exam about the same time as me. So we met up at Marina Square. Was supposed to meet up like 2pm? End up, 3 of us dili deli till about 3.30pm then reached. Haaa

We went to buy Tickets first cos we thought after a few hours of revision, we should reward ourselves with a movie. So we bought tickets for 赤壁. 8.25pm show.

Then we proceed to BK at Millennium Walk for our revision while Yun was entertaining herself on DSlite.

Guess both me and Ber had show attention span, so in the end didn't really study much la.

About 7pm, we went for dinner, while waiting for Celeste to come.

Yes, Celeste is joining me with Ber and Yun for movie.

Thought she told me before she wanna intro some of her good friends to me, so I just intro her some of mine as well.

So she got to MS about 8pm cos she had dinner at home.

Then, we proceed for the show.

After the show, we were all bloody tired la. Next day still gotta work.

Furthermore, Celeste’s alarm clock rings at 11.30pm, which is time for her to rest. Haa…

Went to wait for cab. Bloody hell, waited for 30mins for the cab!

Brian and Bob came to fetch Ber and Yun for supper, they went off already and we were still waiting!

Finally, we got on a damm cab.

Midnight charges sure aint cheap these days. Sent Celeste home first then I home, about $35 liao.

Faintz……….

Those who haven’t watch 赤壁 and didn't know about it, the show is actually showing first part only or.

2nd part of the show will be shown end of the year. Haaa…

But those in Hongkong get to watch the full version one shot. Kaoz!

But seriously, I thought the show was pretty well filmed.

The effects, the whole feel was good. Cant wait for the 2nd half.

Oh, asked Yun what she thinks about Celeste.

Well, same thoughts somehow I had. Celeste has a sweet smile.

She looks pretty sweet when she smiles.

Told her before she should smile more. Don't always stern face, cos she don't talk much as well.

Haa…

Hopefully she got time this weekend to watch HellBoy with me.

~*~

I have got class on Saturday.

Then thought of meeting Gina for pool.

After I ended class, as usual, I cant get her lor. Sianz… Always like that.

So I went over to Chinatown to visit SGN cos he helping his mom to tend the shop.

Since 4.30 I was there till like 9pm?

Talking and smoking and watching 投名状. We finished watching only like 4 hours later.

Haaa…. Cos stop and play stop and play.

SCB Grace was supposed to come down to visit him but end up she didn't appear.

Which I was kinda expecting it. So be it.

Then, Gina called me about 8+.

I could hear her crying away.

She said she aint feeling happy, in a low mood, asked if I wanna go and meet her.

So asked SGN. He said anything. So we went for dinner first then went to Yishun to meet her.

Nothing much in the end. Can see she was much better.

We sat at Mac, had drinks and smoke and chatting away.

Knew Gina wanna talk to me about things but SGN around so not that much talking in the end.

After that we did talk on msn and sms la.

Then 11+, we all went home. Sent Gina to her godma’s place and den SGN sent me home.

~*~

Exam coming. Which is actually today, 17th July.

Damm exams… I hate exams man…

This module is Marcom. Something always my area of interest.

But these few days I simply cant focus on studying.

It's a double credits module, I really wish I could score.

Haiz… Pray hard and hope my theories and applications can be applied well.

Wish me luck!!!

~*~

Its now exactly 3am when I wrote this!

After I put down the phone with Lin.

Had some thoughts but I think I need to rest for exam.

Will update my thoughts again.

Nite peeps…

下辈子

2008-07-08T18:00:00.000+08:00

＊迷失灵魂～卫斯理＊

下辈子我要做个女人。。

伤害我这样的男人。

K 歌

2008-07-07T13:03:00.001+08:00

The working week has started again.

How fast the weekend can be?

Got home about 1am last night.

Went singing with Yun, Ber and Jieqi.

Its been quite some time since last went KTV.

I was really happy cos I found someone to sing this song with me for a looooong time.

别来无恙 by 张宇，张清妨
Haaa…

Of cos, Jieqi is the one who can sing it with me!

Its been some time since I sang that song.

No gals did know how to sing.

I did thought of Jieqi before but never did have the chance.

Initially was Yun who asked if I wanna meet Ber and her for KTV.

Then I saw Jieqi online and asked her.

Thankfully la… If not I alone there, see the other 2 of them

打情骂俏…

Haaa… I will be very extra leh…

Actually I though of asking Celeste along but she got too tired from clubbing the night before.

Asked Gina, she said she will let me know.

As usual, nothing from her.

No call, no sms.

Till I also lazy to go ask already la…

Oh ya, talked about going to watch “赤壁” with Ber and then talking about history and such.

Hope this show doesn’t fail us.

Much more shows to watch this period.

Like Hellboy 2, though I didn’t watch part 1.

The Mummy. Tomb of the Dragon King. Must watch eh! Probably ask Celeste to watch with me, provided she didn’t watch with others la.

Don’t know what else liao, gotta check my movie lists.

Haven’t been really watching shows other than Hancock with Celeste on Friday night.

Oh………………

I wanna borrow the book ‘The Rape of Nanking” from Jieqi.

Heee… Think Gina bought the book, don’t know same or not.

But nevermind, next time I’ll ask from Jieqi when she comes Tiong Bahru visit her Grandma.

Though I have somehow read a book about Nanking, I watched 2 shows about Nanking, but
certain things just don’t feel complete.

Another one I actually wanna find out more is the War of Taiping.

Slowly ba… One by one first.

~*~

Wanna occupy myself with something.

At least I wont feel bored or lonely being alone at home or nothing to do and nowhere to go during days I have the free time.

Ya.. should go continue my driving ba…

Too much things wanna do…

Too little time and money…

Too much things in the mind…

Weekends updates...

2008-07-06T17:21:00.001+08:00

Yeah… I am in office…

Yes, it’s a damm Sunday.

Its my monthly Duty Manager thingy, so no choice.

Well, there goes the weekend.

Had class yesterday and then went home.

Ya, surprisingly, I went home straight.

Gina asked me to go in JB again. She wanna do facial.

I got home, I bathed, headache, I KO.

Haa.. till she almost done then I replied sms. But I was too tired and lazy to go in.

Even supposed to go bowling last night at 10pm, I also stayed home.

Yeah, so there goes a Saturday. Stayed home watch LOTR lor.

~*~

Friday I was out very late. Got home almost 2.30am.

Was out with Celeste.

Yeah, some will be thinking, who is this Celeste?
Cos no one ever heard about her before.

Well, she was my ex colleague’s friend.

Got to know her on the day Lin celebrated her birthday at the pub and my fren was just next 2 pubs away.

So got to know her through my fren and we kept in contact.

Then last week she asked if I would like to meet up for dinner.

Well, since I have got nothing on, might as well.

Its about a month since the first time we met.

End up went Vivo to walk around.

Damm, Vivo sure was packed. As usual.

We went to get tickets for movie, watched Hancock.

Wanted the 9.40pm show, but no seats liao, end up got the 11.25pm one.

Reaching Vivo at 7pm, you can see we have lots of time to spend.

So went dinner, but everywhere was packed.

Ended up at Republic Food Court instead.

Haa…

So after that, we went out to the open area upstairs, enjoy the breeze abit and smoke.

Then went downstairs to look for a café for some tea.

Went to this Serenity and sat outside from like 9pm?

Both of us had Earl Grey Tea, smoking away and had some nice chat.

Its comfortable talking to her. We shared a lot of feelings and stuffs.

Mainly she just had a bad r/s which is about the same time as me. Haiz…

Then till like 10.30pm, we wnt to get ciggs for her, then we went out to sit by the ‘sea’ again. Until its time for movie then go off.

After the show, went to St James side take cab.

Man.. till now I haven’t been to St James lor.

Celeste going again on Saturday cos its her best friend birthday.

She said next time then brings me go in and meet her friends as well.

Haa.. Cool!

Hope she didn’t get too drunk..

Haa.. when a good buddy having birthday, you wont know how much you will be forced to drink.

Told her next time bring me go la, then I can look after her…

Then again, same thing. Knowing that I cant drink, people will think that ended up I am the one needed to be looked after instead. Lolz…

Nah… I know my limits.

No more drinking till I KO..

No No No!

Well, will see when I’ll be meeting her again.

She claimed that we can be really good friend, cos she enjoyed talking and sharing with me.

Thanks gal! You have been a great company too.

=)

~*~

I had a dream on Friday night.

I actually dreamt about Esther and Amber.

We were at a swimming pool.

Esther was changing and it happened that Amber fell in the pool and I got her up.

Didn’t remember much le.

But I thought it was weird how come I will dream about them.

I admit I do miss Amber a lot.

And yesterday, when I was online, I went to Esther’s slide shows collections.

Went through the slide shows and saw the many pictures we used to take.

Lots of memories just came refreshing back in my mind.

Looking at the pictures, I thought we really we happy that time and we looked so blissful.

Was chatting with Sharon last night

Told her about these and she tot it was bit weird about my dream too.

Haa…

Well… Though man people thought Sharon was not mature enough in some thinking, but I thought she is good enough to actually about to see a lot of things in a detached point of view and pretty diplomatic.

As usual, went through the past and present and stuffs about Esther as well and stuffs.

Ended with “Whats meant to be, will be”

~*~

I know myself…

I am not willing to commit any r/s now.

I cant see the future for myself now with anyone.

I can only enjoy the company like with Gina or even Celeste etc.

I don’t know…

My heart doesn’t dare to feel much now.

Oh well…

I’ll just stick to myself as much as I can…

Come what may…

~*~

Time to leave office!

Meeting Jieqi first then meet Yun and Ber for KTV!

Time to Cry Father Cry Mother!

Lolz…

Adious!

Tots

2008-07-03T17:46:00.000+08:00

I was quite upset over something.

I have no idea why did one person would change to be ‘revengeful’ and anal in a way.

There has been a lot of injustice in this world. Everything happens for a reason.

Yes, be it good or bad, there is definitely someone hurt, someone to be fine.

Especially in relationship. Too much examples of such.

Too many used to be loving couples turned sour.

That’s when you start thinking the other party is not worth it, he/she is just crap.

Then you started cursing and swearing in one way or another, not necessary the vulgar way. But then again, still the same.

End of the day, I thought we will still end up living in our own world, blinded by the fact we had injustice done to us. By doing so, we can never get out of it and we will just go on and on and moved towards a undesired direction which we aren’t aware of.

得饶人处，且饶人

We need not be a saint, but we should be benevolent. We should know our limits.

I don’t know what else I can say or do. Its not within my scope and concern anymore. Nothing I can do anyway.

So be it…

Find the correct strength and look beyond what the eyes can see. Do not be blinded by the evilness in this world and turn in to them unknowingly.

God bless…

Period…

~*~

Nothing much has happen to my daily life.

I seems to be lifeless now.

Studies, work, home. Fullstop.

Except for past 3 weekends going in JB and do nothing.

Sometimes wana meet Gina, but when she got busy or sleeping, its almost hard to get her.

It got kinda frustrating when you are waiting and you cant get the person.

Then again… We aint attached to each other, no obligations.

~*~

Saturday tutorial, Sunday Duty Manager.

There goes the weekend again.

Exam coming soons.

Sianz…

Totally not motivated in any single thing at all now.

Just wish I can sleep everyday, day and night.

Just sleep and heck about everything till the day I feel motivated.

I am still tired…

Prawn Fishing Pics!

2008-06-22T23:45:00.005+08:00

Pics for Prawn Fishing as mentioned~

The Bored Mini Darling.. Waiting for prawns to get hooked!

Still waiting... There... Mr SGN playing games in HP...

There... now both of them are digging for something like that huh!

TaDah! The Big Prawn they got! Yeah!

By the way... Its long dead.. SGN just try to hook it up.

Given the fact both of them were trying to 'fish' it!

in the end, its a dead prawn! Muahahaha...

The Bo Liao Mini and Me... =.=

End of Prawn Fishing!

Lets go Bishan Park on next time!

Yun Mei wanna go too ya!

Ciaoz!

TMD SGN

2008-06-20T16:13:00.002+08:00

Weekend is here…

Parents be flying off in the morning like 7am tomorrow.

So tonight 4am should be going to airport with them since my bro is driving.

Provided I can wake up.

I am just feeling seriously drained today.

Yesterday was just like a normal day.

Thought of meeting Gina for dinner, but end up she gotta OT.

SO I went Jurong central to jalan jalan.

End up bought 3 DVDs..

Got home and tried them..

Na Bei…

I should have known the quality. Especially for Incredible Hulk.

Kungfu Panda and Chronicles of Narma (I mean Narnia) still quite ok la.

Then at Jurong, there was Pasar Malam.

One guy was doing some praying thing for health and wealth etc for the people around watching.

I Kaypo go see. Thought nevermind la, haven’t been in luck, always down, try also no harm.

So I forked out $10 for so called Ang Bao for the Master.

Then one by one, a master will talk to you and give an amulet for some purpose la.

Then this Master talked to me…

Saying a lot of things, especially on my career.

Said not having a clear career path. Asked if I wanna get the masters in Thailand to help.

But with an Ang Bao for them. Maybe like $150…

I was like =.=

I hardly surviving this month already lor.

So I told him I go draw money then come back.

So you know what happened after that la… Haa…

Seriously, after thinking, I don’t see the point.

If I really want to do it sincerely, I would really like to go Thailand myself.

So I was thinking, never then, the $10, take it as charity for good deeds ba.

I didn’t take the amulet as well, so be it…

Gina didn’t call me in the end.

So in the end, I went home about 9+.

While on the way, Mini Darling sms me asked me wanna go Prawn fishing or not.

She also bored la. Jos went NS liao and somemore school starting for her. Haa..

But due to work, I seriously didn’t wanna go. Especially when I have been so drained out these days.

So I just told her I cant lor.

While upon reaching home, someone called.

SGN!

I was already thinking in my heart “Hong Gan liao!”

Conversation (Not word for word though)

SGN - “prawning leh…”

Me – “Mai la… too late.. tmr I gotta work, u both no need leh”

SGN – “You first time meh? I now at Fullerton, gg over, anyway CCK ma”

Me – “see how la.. I go bath first then call..”

SGN – “no need la.. I on the way liao… 15mins I will reach..”

Me – “…………………………………………………..”

That’s why I said Hong Gan lor…

His pattern comes out nia… Lan Lan…

He will just show and said…

“Ang Gong Bei Cak one ah?!”

Bo bian lor.

Went to Farmart with them and only mini darling prawn fishing.

While me smoking away and SGN playing games.

After that we started alternate switching to fish the damm prawns.

Untill after 3 hours…

NOTHING!!!

Except for mini darling hand catch one… Haa…

Then that SGN, for 2 times, he trying to fish DEAD prawns!

=.=

End up, scoped up a dead prawn, but its quite huge eh.

Then, the vendor gave a prawn to SGN, so ended up got 2.

For him to feed his fish. =.=

Pictures will be up these 2 days though…

Got home 3+am… Dead tired…

Now at work like zombie… Yawns…

What to do today? Weekends come, I have got nothing to do.

Haiz…

Gina MC… Maybe later go see her awhile.

Zijie jio bowling…

Hmmm… Balls at home eh…

Go home lazy come out again…

See how ba…

Sianz sianz sianz…

~*~

I am beginning to doubt people…

I used to trust people easily…

But not anymore…

Once and again people trying to screw me from behind.

Use your god damm brain to think before you fucking say and do anything!

~*~

My heart should be back ba?
I seems to have shut down all my senses.
But I can still feel something in me cos of the way I speak.

Physically, mentally, emotionally…
Still drained…

Updates...

2008-06-18T17:19:00.002+08:00

Its coming to a week since I have updated.

Not that there aint anything to update but I just find nothing really significant…

It’s the same old thing, same old job, same old studies, same old people, same old feel and the same old me…

Last Friday, what did I do? I cant remember le...

Oh.. I think I met Gina for dinner, walk around town then 8.30pm, she needed to get back.

I was trying to look for people to chill out with me, but in vain. Wanted to watch shows, but realized everyone has watched.

I haven’t watch show for coming a month. Previously was at least 1, 2 times a week.

Haiz… so many haven’t watched… No one seems to be free… Or is it just me?

So anyway, I ended up home again la. Doing nothing…

Last Saturday, what was I doing?

I think I slept till 12pm. Then went to PC show with my brother to get my laptop and bor got a camera for his Gal…

Finally, I got my first laptop. Not too bad, 12.1” nia and 1.95Kg.

Then evening went for Fathers’ Day dinner.

Then met Vic and Zijie for bowling all the way till 3-4am before I got home.

Last Sunday, I only know I went JB with Gina.

Jam like siao lor... when on the bus.

Then we went City Square, Holiday Plaza and then to Jusco.

Been some time I wanna go Jusco and finally went.

But there wasn’t anything surprising cos its like Taka, mainly foreign international brands.

So went back to City Square again, bought a pair of shoes then went back.

Gina kept bugging me to do biometric passport so next time don’t need to wait for me to queue.

I will see about it.

Then she went home and I went Causeway Point to get something for dad.

After that, think I bored and Gina also, so went to her place’s void deck and chatted till 11+ then go home.

Past 2 days, nothing much, work and study, work and study.

Having class again today. Sianz…

Friday parents going Thailand.

Cos I didn’t wanna miss my classes, so I didn’t go.

Thailand… Haiz…

~*~

I have been ignoring a lot of things…

Really a lot.

But I wanna emphasize that ignoring doesn’t mean I have got no feelings at all.

Perhaps I am still living in my own emo world… I have no idea.

It seems like they have been clicking well…

That’s good.

As mentioned to Yun Dear…

Other than special occasions, I won’t appear again…

Maybe I am petty, just a loser and whiner.

Just take it that this loser doesn’t wanna continue to lose out…

Let me be ba…

I am sorry…

~*~

Tired...
Really tired...
My heart is reluctant to do anything now...

Its time to come back my heart...
You been hurt heavily...

Have a good rest...

Titleless

2008-06-12T14:53:00.002+08:00

Been kinda lazy to blog these days…

I have no idea why, but I guess its about my mood.

I been blogging emo posts these days.. after awhile, I just got kinda tired of myself…

Talking about being tired…

I have been really really drained out.

These days I felt so tired easily… and forcing myself to wake up in the morning is a pain.

I told Lin and Yun, I have never been so tired before.

Even when with Lin, I was out with her practically everyday and stayed up late to 2-3am minimum.

These days, without going out much, I am so so so tired.

I guess, this time round, is because I have been drained, physically, mentally and emotionally.

That’s why I have been really tired.

Then I was thinking “Why would I be tired when with lin? I wont be if I get to see the one I love everyday and spending time.” But I guess, after everything ended, the energy really started to flow off fast…

I need a break.. I really need a holiday…

~*~

Tuesday, I met up Gina for dinner.

Was supposed to meet her for lunch and she asked me go to Beauty World. =.=

I thought why so far…

Still, I took a cab from Clementi down, cheaper la.

Reach about 12.45pm.. I was waiting till 1.30pm and she aint here…

Then sms came telling me to go back first cos she got held up and is going to be very late.

So no choice, I went to grab a fast lunch and then took the same route back..
Woooo… this lunch cost me $18 eh! =.=”

Then in the end, I met Gina for dinner instead.

Went over to Bottle Tree Park and Yishun.

This is my first time there eating though I have been there for 2-3 times.

Ordered a Sambal potatoe leave, a lemon chicken and a Mayo Prawn.

Hmmm… the serving were a bit big I must say. Especially the prawns.

There were 10 big prawns and we couldn’t finish them.

Oh.. the prawns cost $25 eh.. means each prawn is $2.50!

Haaa…

Well.. After that, we just sat at the table and chat, smoking away.

Talking about the past when we were at Banyan Tree working.

Then we start listening to songs. Emo songs…

Well, she just went through a bad r/s, I just had a breakup…

Told Yun the atmosphere was just great to emo and have a heart to heart talk.

Was dark, left 2 of us at the restaurant, and raining heavily by a big pond.

Haaa… Yun said luckily never do anything wrong.. =.=

What can go wrong?!

I know how to get a grip on this lor…

Well, after that, till 12+ den took a cab, sent Gina home and me home.

Lin was also on the way home and said will call me later.

Got home, bathed and straight away I lied down on bed le.

Was listening to music and resting away while waiting for Lin to call.

She called almost at 2am. It was about 1.45am I guess.

Chatted awhile, she tired, went sleep le.

~*~

Nothing much on Wednesday, just work and having class that’s all…

I haven’t watch Chronicles of Nar Ma! (Narnia should be) and Kungfu Panda…

Gek Sim haven’t confirm with me tomorrow she meeting me or not. If not then I will ask Gina le

I haven’t been out for 3 weekends. Last weekend also at home, except meeting Gek Sim on Sunday evening.

I used to watch movie with Lin at least once a week.

Now I haven’t watched any.

Thought of going PC show. I need to get my laptop.

Asking either Gek Sim or Gina company me go…

If either free.

Lin mentioned about not having to meet friends up, distancing away.

I told her i read in her blog.

She asked me if I knew who she referring to...

Seriously... I have no idea...

Then she said nevermind.. and we soon hung up...

Well.....

~*~

I need a break…

Yun and Ber going Genting tomorrow le.

Haiz.. Supposed to bring Lin go Genting as well cos she never go before…

But well………………………..

Was telling Gina, we should plan one to go.

Batam... Bintan…

I missed the relaxing time there…

Sigh…

~*~

Where has my heart gone to?
It didnt come back,

But lost...

Weekends... Bored,,,

2008-06-09T17:27:00.002+08:00

Boring weekend again.

Its been 3 weekends, Sat and Sun I haven’t gone out.

Havent had movies for 3 weeks.

Practically stayed home for whole day on Sat.

Yesterday… also the same.

Except evening, Lin came to take things from me.

Then I went to Bishan the prawn fishing side to look for my family.

Actually, intention was to meet Gek Xin cos she was sick and home But she aint free yet.

End up went to Junction 8.

Was intending to go AMK Hub, but Lin was there with Andy.

Didn’t really wanna bumped into them, cos I will feel Gao Wei…

So I went to Junction 8.

Less than 10mins, I left, and walked all the way to the prawn fishing side.

Took me more than 30mins though I thought I would have taken a longer time.

A lot of things went through my mind while I was walking.

Images of Lin of cos started flashing through.

Was feeling rather down for a moment, especially when I was walking alone and listening to songs.

Den this song came along. “That’s When I Love You”.

First song I sent to Lin to tell her how I felt.

It was supposed to be a beautiful and sweet song, but end up, now, this song can set me into emo.

Well, I reached the prawn fishing side and nuah abit till they done.

Den Gek Xin called me, so went to Junction 8 to meet her and ended up at S11 behind.

It was 10pm when I met her. Haa…

Before even started talking to her, Lin called.

Said she haven’t bath when she told me 40mins ago she wanted to..

As usual though…

So she went to bath and I chatted with Gek Xin.

Till about 11.30 then we went back home.

Lin called again in the train, asking me how was the chat and what did we chat about.

I knew she is forceful in getting answer.

So I told her what we chatted.

Stirred a little commotion, which I had expected.

Well… Sorry…

~*~

Wanted to go to PC Show this weekend.

But no one seems to be free… Haiz..

So in the end, asked Gek Xin if she free.
Sure took her long to reply 1 sms.

She said Sunday early noon ok la. Night she booked liao.

Then I figured I haven’t watched movies for 3 weeks.

Supposed Yun, Ber, B P would have gone dating.

I asked Gek Xin again Friday if free, company me go watch.

Haa… Bo bian…

Vic also got GF de.. SGN not in town and he not interested.

Lin… don’t need to say.. Furthermore she watched both Narnia and Kungfu Panda le.

So Gek Xin said she will arrange about Friday and see how.

Seems like my circle of friends getting smaller.

Cos usually, GF is my priority.

If GF wanna meet, 99.9% I will oblige.

Weekends also all for GF de.

Or should I say, as long I have got free time, it will be mainly for GF.

That’s why now, I so bo liao…

~*~

Vic called me just now, ask me take 4 days of leave to go Thailand tomorrow.

I was, HUH?!

COs his GF last minute cant go.

How is it possible I can take urgent leave so last minute?

Furthermore I have got interview and classes.

Bo bian, ask him get his mom.

Bangkok…

Lin told me she would bring me go one day. The day… will never be here again.

My family going next weekend as well.

Wanted to plan for a trip this year end.

With GF, someone I love…

Plans… on hold again…

~*~

我好累

喜欢一个人

2008-06-07T23:00:00.003+08:00

After reading whats below. Some thoughts came into my mind...

If you know the person you let go is not going to be happy and blissful with another person, do you think you will do that willingly?

What if you were forced to give up?

Too many IFs...

喜欢一个人，

就该懂得该走的时候。

因该要带着微笑，

给于祝福。

另一个人让他有幸福的人生。

喜欢一个人，

也要能离开这个人。

别自以为只有你才能给快乐。

到处都是想给幸福的人。

其实喜欢一个人，

也该了解。

加热包的温度失去了就该扔了。

那怕今年的冬天特别长。。

特别冷。。

喜欢一个人是美好的。

那怕只是一个回忆，

也值得怀念。

This was told to me in msn by Yuan.. Vic's sister.
Seen her from a primary school girl till now a working adult.

Always regarded her as my sis as well..
For years, she has been calling me Brother Onion.
Haa..

Thanks Yuan...

I really regretted my decision...
I really did...

Hate myself to the core...
Phui!

2nd celebration of Lin's Birthday.. and some emo shit again.

2008-06-07T16:47:00.003+08:00

2nd round of Lin’s birthday celebration is over.

Ended up with a very drunk Lin.

But still, a pretty and gorgeous looking birthday girl...

Quite a number of people attended the pubbing session.

Me, Ber, ZW, Bozs, Yun, B & P，Jennifer, Gek Xin, her colleagues and of cos, QY, Audrey, Adam and XB.

Bozs asked me a funny thing.
“How come you seems to know almost every friends of Lin?!:

Well, I have met QY, Audrey they all twice at least.
I have met Jennifer.
I have met Gek Xin and chatted.

I have heard a lot about XB.

So basically, other than her colleagues, I kinda knew everyone there.

Overall was a happy celebration for her.

Other than some emo parts here and there…

I was really worried for her, but then, I knew she will stick to XB, so there aint much I can do. Furthermore, QY also there…

I guess most of the time I was smoking. Just yesterday, I think I smoked more than 1 ½ pack.

Other than smoking alone, QY jio, Gek Xin jio, Jeremy also jio.. Fucking smoke like a chimney.

I guess, lots of emotions flowed in me yesterday.

Seeing her flying here and there, sticking to XB, drinking, crying and drunk.

After the cake cutting, I was sitting outside with Gek Xin, smoking and chatting away.

She didn’t know Lin and me already broken up, till she asked Lin when Lin went to pick her up.

Then she asked me how long was that ago.

Gek Xin told me, Lin told her she was really happy with me that’s why she wanted Gek Xin to know that time at White Bar. She thought me and Lin could have lasted long, but then, who knows?

History repeated itself again.

I just told her, no matter she was happy with me, no matter I have been the longer r/s after Ad, no matter how good I am, the ending, is still the same as other guys. Furthermore, I kena 2 shots in 3 months.

I told Gek Xin, 我不在乎曾经拥有，我在乎天长地久。曾经拥有，不算拥有。

Whatever was said, doesn’t prove a single point at all now.

I told her, I can do whatever best I can, but no matter what, it doesn’t matter to her in the end. Though I still love her to the core...

She understood how I felt, saying if in her shoes, she wont have been able to take it.
Yah.. I am human too. I have got feelings and a feeling is something I care about the most.

After chatting with her, went over to Joyce, my ex-colleague’s side at Club 62.
She was with a friend and was intro to her, Celeste.

Coincidentally, she also just had a breakup, 2 weeks ago. This is roughly about the same time as me.

So there again, another one in emo mood. Smoking with Celeste outside and talking about things and she crying away. The guy, left her for another girl.

Sometimes listening to these stories, I just cant help thinking that how come I am guy, but going through the process of the girls? I have never left any gfs of mine for another girl.

Haiz…..

I was like social butterfly, to and fro both pubs.
Till Lin really gone, and need to go home. XB sent her home.

Jennifer wanna go over her place to pass her her gifts and all, but she left them with me instead. No point going down again when she got home and knew nuts about what in the world is going on.

After that, Ber and Yun also left. Gek Xin wanna go St James find her friend. End up left me, Bozs, Qy, Audrey and Adam.

I still go to and fro both pubs, with Bozs. PR abit ma. Machaim like I am the one hosting.
Actually, I am just another person in the pubs.

In the end, before going off with Joyce, Bozs and Celeste, cos we all live in the west, went over to tell QY. Qy poured a galss of liquor for me, super thick la!

Telling me that’s my punishment for making her went around Outram area, pub to pub looking for me. Simply wanted me to bottom up when she clearly knew I cant drink lor.

Bo bian, cos Mommy wasn’t in a good mood also, making some noises, so I tried to drink.
REALLY GAO LART！Bo bian I tried drinking to almost 2/5, then gotta ask Bozs to finish the rest for me. After that went off le.

~*~

Lin woken up just now, telling me things here and there.

She didn’t know if she said anything wrong or what and scared she freaked XB out in the cab or what.

Den telling me about this Andy guy. Telling about who wanna go after her and her diiner appointments etc and all.

Then on about XB and Ad. I knew she is afraid to get into another r/s again.

But then again, you are afraid, can you really control things to happen?
Everything she talked about are XB, Ad and other guys to me.

Yes, I know she wanna be normal with me. But I am human too. I am her ex too, just 2 weeks ago! I really cant just flip over and be ok like nothing happened.

Does anyone understand the kinda feeling when your ex telling you, about other guys etc and all when you both just broken up 2 weeks ago?

I know Lin just wanna treat me as a good friend. But does she know how I felt?
Does she know how much I still love her and wanna be with her?!

Telling me she scared she might fall back to XB. Cos he is all way better than Ad and all and all.
I kept thinking back in my mind.
“What the fuck am I? Who the fuck am I?!

Why do others always get a 2nd chance? Why do I not?

Only reason… I am not worth it at all…

The feeling of listening to her telling me about other guys just makes me feel down. Not I wanna purposely feel this way, but I just cant help it!

How else can I feel? It just cuts me further in. Does anyone understand?

Yun has been telling me to give up, telling Lin to give up.
But the same thing, how to give up when the heart is still on the other side?

It kinda gets very down when you kept hearing others asking you to give up, knowing very well how hard it is to do it at all.

Others have been telling her about her situation, its just 飞蛾扑火。

I told Audrey, QY and Gek Xin, its just the same thing applied to me.

I had it coming. But I cant help falling for her. I just wish things of the past can fade off and we can really be happy together.

Audrey asked me yesterday, “Do you still love her and want to be with her still?”
I don’t even need to answer, QY already said “Of course la!”

Lin ever told me, first time met I met Audrey, she told Lin that Lin will love me a lot. She also don’t understand why.

But then… Same ending.

Emotions kinda overwhelmed me just now when Lin kept talking about XB and Ad.
I just said “Go back la, go back la , go back la.”

Den she said wanna put down the phone le.

I knew, my such attitude came again.

I am sorry. Really sorry... I dont mean to...

But do you really understand what I am feeling inside?

Am I just another guy who foolishly lives in this world for you?

~*~

对不起
我还戒不掉我们的从前。。。
我不是个说放就放，说忘就能忘的人。

我真的还没办法把你戒掉。

你真的不能回头看看我吗？
我真的那么不值吗？
我对你的爱，你一点也没感觉吗？

我知道，我什么都不是，什么都没有了。

我将永远失去你。。。

Emo 好歌

2008-06-06T16:51:00.002+08:00

这一个星期我都在不停的播放的歌。。。

胡彦斌唱功提升了好多。。。

虽然还没到结婚的感觉，但歌曲的曲风和感动度，可以让我，在现在的情况，Emo够本了。

哈哈

http://www.ting98.com/player/1165/158495.htm
听听看吧。

婚礼进行曲 - 胡彦斌

所有故事停止撕开了幸福伪装

双手在我耳边头又在不停摇晃

我被俘虏多年且爱上的是上当

谢谢你让我成长我最爱的姑娘

你的真实谎言把我拦在城外

我只能双手放开无奈无奈

把最後的疼爱做成了西装

拱手让它穿在了别人身上

dang dang dang dang..
dang dang dang dang..

这婚礼怎么那么悲伤

我流着淚双手使劲鼓掌

dang dang dang dang..
dang dang dang dang..

我听到爱情钟声在响

一杯又一杯喝醉了

我才会变得高尚

昨天晚上你紧靠在我的胸膛

对我说你最勇敢你最棒

今天你却挽着别人的臂膀

走上了人生的红毯殿堂

dang dang dang dang..
dang dang dang dang..

这婚礼怎么那么悲伤

我流着淚双手使劲鼓掌

dang dang dang dang..
dang dang dang dang..

我听到爱情钟声在响

一杯又一杯喝醉了

我才会变得高尚

~*~

为什么我的每段感情都那么辛苦？
我只不过想好好的爱一个人。。。
我只不过想让我的另一半快乐。。。

我的努力，我的心，也全部是废的。
没人稀罕，没人珍惜

我们都好傻，真的好傻

Jialin's Birthday...

2008-06-06T10:59:00.006+08:00

Official day of Lin’s Birthday is over.

Simple celebration.. Really simple…
At Plaza Brasserie at Parkroyal…

Thanks to Dear Yun, Ah Ber, B&P and Bozs…

Ordered flowers for Lin… 18 red roses with a white rose…
Didn’t expect it to be heavy.. Thought initially wanted to get the 36 roses one.
If like that, she would probably need a chauffeur.

She wasn’t expecting the flowers.
Seriously, it’ll be quite impossible for me to forget giving her flowers.

I am glad she likes it.
At least from the email ‘tone’, I can ‘feel’.

I think I behaved ok during the dinner ba?
Not really having a black face, but just bit tired.
Going to school paying school fees, find cake, wait for bus, walk to the hotel etc.
Took me more than an hour. =.=

I didn’t really eat much.
Was like slightly more than a normal dinner I full liao…
Maybe not in a mood for buffet.
As what Ah Ber mentioned…
He knows. Yun also actually knew as well before hand la.. Haa…
Yeah.. Thanks Bro and Dear…

Did told Yun the day before that I have a feeling inside me which I don’t feel good about.
Till yesterday itself, still the same.
Until Lin’s email came on the flowers, then I felt better.

Lin left at 9+pm.
A friend came to fetch her.
Family was at home waiting for her to cut the cake.
Glad that her mom got her a cake.

Was intending to watch a movie, but timing wasn’t very right.
By time we finished the movie, would have been 2am I guess.

Lin called me while we were waiting for Brian.
Thanking me for the flowers and all and then chatted a short while on other stuffs.
She asked why I sounded so weird.
She felt that I didn’t sound right…

Hmmm.. How to explain that?
I don’t know…
Just a thought too many in my mind…

So in the end, we didn’t watch show.
Ah Ber sent me and Bozs home…

Got home, went online and do… nothing..
Saw Lin online… scared she didn’t wanna be disturbed so didn’t msn her.
Was trying to figured out what the Chinese words she put on her nick were, cos my older PC cant display Chinese.
Still cant figure.. Phui…

Before sleeping, Lin called me at 12am…
Telling me her birthday officially over.
I told her, now you are officially 22 le.

Then we went on chatting for about another 15mins or so.
Some things didn’t appeal to my ears, so I just acknowledged with ‘Orh’, ‘Ok’...

Then she went to sleep and I sms her to rest well.

~*~

Tonight, drinking session at YOU Bar.
The mommy bought a cake for her.
Hope she will enjoy herself cos few good friends will be around.
Like XB, QY and all…

Yup… She will enjoy…
Seems like she is either in a meeting or took UL.
I supposed she got too tired… UL instead…

~*~

Vic wanted to tell me something frank.
He mentioned-
“Stubbornness and Stupidity is just a thin fine line.”

Yup Bro,
I always knew that, thanks.

Yes, its really a very vivid, thin, fine line…
How many a time we lost balance and fell over the other side?

99.9% towards the stupid side.

I believe u will agree with me…

*Side note…
Lee Wei Song School of Music called me for an interview as Events & Marketing Executive.
Hmmm… Interesting. But wonder whats in for me.
We’ll see about it next Tuesday. Maybe I may end up cutting an album!
Haaaa…. Siaoz… =.=

The sweetest Birthday Gal...

Other pics, please refer to Yun's Blog..

~*~

Can history really repeat itself?
Perhaps ba…
But it wont be my page of history...

Stubbornness and stupidity…
Which side are you?
Which side am i?

佳霖，生日快乐

2008-06-05T11:00:00.001+08:00

千言万语，哽在心里。

只有一句。。。

~*生日快乐*~

我们，都一样

2008-06-04T17:59:00.001+08:00

每个人都对自己的情况感到迷惘。

每个人都对自己的现状最了解。

每个人都觉得自己的世界很凄凉。

我们都被关在自己的视窗内，

根本不了解天空多辽阔，世界多宽大。

就因为这样，我们忽略了身边美丽的景观，

忽略了身边在乎和疼爱自己的人。

我们都在劝着彼此放弃，甚至强迫对方死心。

说的轻松，讲得潇洒。

看看镜子里的自己，试问我们能不能做到呢？

嘴里说着为他／她好，自己心里却还为着别人痛。

我们这样做，对方难道就不会为自己心疼吗？

爱，应该是自由的吧？

如果是这样，为什么我们要压抑自己？

为什么不能让自己得到疼爱？

为什么不能跟着感觉走，去接受幸福的拥抱呢？

为什么不能不顾一切放手去爱呢？

我们宁愿相信海螫深楼，

却不敢触碰眼前真实的爱情。

我们都太无知了。。。

太懦弱了。。。

却也固执的可悲。。。

我们，

都一样。

Apology

2008-06-03T17:03:00.000+08:00

It apparently looks like its back to square one…

It will be back to me, myself and only my ownself…

Looking at the situation, it seems like I have been irritating the shit outta everyone…

My sincere apology…

From now, I wont mention and do a single thing, if possible.

Yes.. I will be fine.. in one way or another..

Even if it’s the appearance only.

I know you guys want me to get back on track of my life…

I will..

Depending on how long and how I would live my life again…

Haa…

I know I can be happier.

I know you all want me to be happier…

By learning to give up certain things, perhaps I could…

But I am not someone who can just give and take so easily…

Especially things that matters the heart.

If I can do that, I aint Thomas Wee…

Perhaps its cause of this…

I have been in such a pathetic situation all the time…

Haa.. I am such a joke that I should laugh at myself at times…

~*~

Vic, my buddy for past 14 years said Lin has been the best girlfriend I had…
Haa.. Thanks Bro…

But good things don’t last for me…

Neither is it this time…
*Helpless smile..*

爱。。。

2008-06-02T22:15:00.002+08:00

爱一个人。。。

该怎么做？

怎么做才是对的？

爱到要伤害对方，这是爱吗？

被爱到要摧残自己，这是被爱吗？

爱。。。

应该是能包容与谅解。。

所发生了，过去的，真的需要那么在乎吗？

爱。。。

就是要保护你爱的人，而不是让她受伤。

但很多人，都是这样。。。

宁愿爱一个让自己受伤的人，

伤害另一个爱自己的人。。。

我怎么做都是错。。。

就因为了结了，就要恨吗？就要放弃吗？

爱到被人可怜，

爱到被人厌恶，

是我应得的吗？

我闻心自问。。。

只听到爱情的嘲笑声。。。

哈哈。。。可笑。

《男人 KTV》

2008-05-29T16:32:00.002+08:00

A song I happened to come across when I was at the pub.

Nice... 唱出了很多男人无奈的心情

listen to it here...

http://www.yymp3.com/Play/9937/126272.htm

歌手：胡彦斌专辑：男人歌

《男人 KTV》

男人 KTV
前奏才刚刚响起
就有人哭红了眼睛
唱着他们的订情曲
对不起提了你的伤心过去
一堆男人下了班不回去
十几个人坐在KTV
唱着青春随风远去的回忆
说这年头还有什麽让我们动心
男人歌
唱给谁来听
下一首
有没有你心情
我和你吻别在无人的街
张学友唱出我的情结
男人歌
唱给谁来听
下一首
有没有你心情
你的背包让我走的好缓慢
陈弈迅那首歌
是唱的他自己
男人歌
原来唱的都是不敢说的心情
一堆男人下了班不回去
十几个人坐在KTV
唱着青春随风远去的回忆
说这年头还有什麽让我们动心
男人歌
唱给谁来听
下一首
有没有你心情
我和你吻别在无人的街
张学友唱出我的情结
男人歌
唱给谁来听
下一首
有没有你心情
你的背包让我走的好缓慢
陈弈迅那首歌
是唱的他自己
男人歌
原来唱的都是不敢说的心情

More Emo Shit...

2008-05-29T15:50:00.006+08:00

Thursday… It has been a week...

Yesterday was another saddening day filled with emotions again.

Boss and all went to HQ for meeting.

So I decided to go down to Bras Basah, Popular HQ to try my luck.

Took a train to Cityhall and then remember that there is a MPH at Citylink.

Went over there, couldn’t find the titles, so I went to Raffles City Basement, MPH, yet again, cant find.

Decided to go over Brqas Basah already. Came up, great.. Raining big time.

Nevertheless, I still ran over, from Raffles Hotel side so I wont kena so much rain.

Still, I am drenched cos the rain was just too heavy.

I went to Popular, look through all the related shelves trying to find, but sadly, no.

Asked the information counter, they don’t carry these titles already. She asked if I want to order, I didn’t. Cos I already told the Popular at my workplace to order.

As I wanna go off from Bras Basah, I saw 2 resellers bookstores. I decided to go in and search for the older versions.

Again, I looked through shelves and shelves, I only managed to find one old title, which aint any I wanna get.

I left, for Bugis Junction. Once again, the rain started heavily again.

I under shelter just now, it stopped. I came out, rain again WTF!

Still, I ran across. I came from dry, to drench, then to dry and now I was drenched again.

Went over to Kinokuniya, looked through the shelves again, no.

I went through 3 Kinokuniya, 4 Populars, 3 Times bookstores, 2 MPH, Borders and Page One at Vivo, oh… and 2 re-seller bookstores, I cant find the titles at all.

I checked with all their information counters, they told me all out of stock. I cant believe it!

All of such major bookstores out of stock! Fuck!

No choice, went back office with disappointment.

Didn’t have lunch, so just grab some breads in office.

~*~

Lin asked if I can meet her to get her the phone today (Wednesday) instead of tomorrow (Thursday).

Well, though I have got class, still went ahead.

As usual, met her at Tiong Bahru train station platform and went over to PS together.

We didn’t queue long for the phone, she got a new line, a new phone and I paid for it.

This was what I promised her for her birthday present before we split.

Don’t you expect I could get a hug or kiss or what. I would have never expect any of that, knowing her.

Its just a normal words of thank you and we went to smoke, then she went home and me to class.

I felt terrible while walking to class. The heart felt the sharp pain again.

While on the train to Dobbhy Ghaut, as usual, she will stand by my right side or infront of me. Usually, I would want her to stand in front of me so I could hold on to her. I used to hug her from the back, but now… We are just 2 individuals.

I kept looking at her through the window’s reflection while she was playing her PSP. I felt that kinda sharp pain again.

The Jialin in front of me, is still the same. But the status, the relations and feelings, are all different already. I am different in all the sense. I am just anyone, no one…

~*~

Lin sms me last morning and just now through emails. Telling me not to tell her, send her loving words cos she scared ‘He” will check and is sensitive.

I hate all these.

Everything is all about Him!

All the things I do for her sake, indirectly, I did for his sake.

Cos all those I did and oblige to Lin is mainly towards him.

Why the fuck am I doing all these indirectly for him?!

I say all these.. not to the one I love, then who the hell do I say to?

I have already been forced to the core to let go, but why is it at this stage, I am still being pushed back further?

Am I wrong to say these? Am I wrong to do these?

Why the hell does he have to check and see? What is he scared of? Cant trust you enough?

Everything is about him… All the rules and regulations are bent for him…

Who on earth understand what I have gone through and going through?

Who am I? Or what am I?

Anyone spared a thought for my heart?

No matter how hard I try and how good I do, end of the day, I am still being forsaken and some, with sarcastic remarks.

Many had told me how stupid I am and asked me why am I doing all these? Whats the point, is it worth?

How many of you are in my situations? Those who know me well enough, you know why I am doing these.

Ya, I know… So what?

Is she going to come back? NO!

She is over obsessed with Him! God damm NO!

Thanks everyone for telling me all these… I know them.

But…

Whatever…

WHATEVER!

*Yes, I do reply selectively now
Cos certain things if I really want to reply,

its going to be with frustrations. .
I am already trying hard...
Do you understand at all?
我的痛苦。。。
没人了解，没人感受。。。

Emo Shit...

2008-05-27T19:05:00.002+08:00

This is definitely going to be a long post.. Those who are not interested in my emo shit…

Skip…

~*~

Was thinking what I should be doing on Monday evening yesterday.
I have been meeting her for straight 112 days, that’s coming to 4 months.

Now, without her, evenings became long and bored and practically lifeless..

Fang was at Vivo with her colleagues after her class, so asked her to meet me instead to go Chinatown Popular to look for books and look for lighters as well..
Well, when reaching there, I realized the god damm Popular has closed down. Fuck!

I cant get any lighters too cos most are for tourists with the word Singapore or the Merlion logo. Crap…

End up, Fang suggested going to her friend’s pub for a drink. Happy hours, just a jug.

Cant remember the name of the pub but its somewhere near Crystalbelle. Pretty new pub.

So we ordered a jug and started drinking. Fang dedicated a song to me. When they played it, I can only smile sadly and sing along with it.

The song is really so so so telling the exact situation I am in now.

Wanna guess what song? Cantonese song by Jordan Chan, 陈小春.. I will post it later…

After that, I put one song which I used to let her listen first time at Acoustic. 好心好报…

I have posted this song in my blog before about 2months back I supposed.

That time I told her, this song… Spells the situation we both are in…

Well, I had merely a mug bit more last night. Then went outside with Fang to smoke. After 2 sticks, I went to the washroom.

Once again, not the first time, being in the washroom, I started hearing muffled noises and sounds. I knew, I was done for it. Then my eyes blurred and I lay over the wall for support for I knew, if there aint any support, I am sure to fall to my feet.

Before I knew it, I slipped and fell. Phone fell out, luckily not into the drainage hole. My cig case got dented, spoiled. *thankfully, toilet was clean

I tried standing up, for a minute and so, I stepped out and washed my face.

Went back to my seat and just close my eyes to relax. Fang saw me but didn’t say anything. Cos though I just looked in a terrible state but I could walk fine.

Everytime when like that, I will feel bloated and tired. Tired, tears will flow, but if you were to ask me, seriously, I have no idea is it cos I was tired that’s why I teared or cos of the pain in my heart.

This was the time when emotions came attacking and you felt really like a piece of shit.

During these 2 hours or so, Lin did keep sms me.

Till I told her I almost knocked out, she started calling and calling me non-stop.

I didn’t pick up; Phone was in silent mode in my pocket but I cant feel much.

Little did I know, she and QY actually went pub to pub around the area to look for me.

She called William to look for me. William didn’t manage to get me as well…

I knew, she was swearing away all the while calling me cos she didn’t like people who don’t pick up calls. QY also swearing away.

End up, when I was crossing the road, I picked up Lin’s called. I knew my 语气 aint that good. I just asked what she wants and she asked me where am I. End up, kena screamed at : 喜欢你啦！*It apparently means Up To You! Not literally that meaning... Den phone went dead…

Surprisingly, William saw me and asked me to get up.
I wanted to take a cab back initially. Fang already went off to meet her friends.

After I got up, Lin called again. Then we went further down the road to pick up her and QY and send them to Boat Quay.

My sincere apology to all of you regarding this matter. I know I created troubles for all of you, as what lin sms me and scolded me, in a way.

I am really sorry.

~*~

I felt like such a lousy person, such a loser.

Others wanna emo, can go drink.
I wanna emo, drink abit only I gone.

For those who know me, will know that I cant drink and I used to be allergic.
Went with William to Maxwell to eat, then to Clementi to get his fish then home.

Lin sms me asked me to get home, take a hot bath, drink hot water and grab a good rest.

Seeing such a sms, aches my heart. The concern is there, but I know, its different. The feeling is different, the status is different.

~*~

I know, I haven’t been myself these days. My mood and energy level is at its lowest.

But yet, I didn’t wanna rest. I been forcing myself to stay up late, walking around town and all. That’s because I didn’t like to spend the last moment before I sleep thinking about things. It’s a killer.

Apparently, that didn’t work well. Before I sleep, I will see my phone and all. There it is, the wallpaper on my phone, picture of us.

I know people will be asking “Who ask you put there? Change La! Siao!”

I don’t know. I refuse. I do change over here and there. But it’s the same.

It’s the heart and mind. Heart is with her… Mind always like to look for her anytime.

I am sorry. To anyone who has been around for me…

I brought all these to myself, but you people don’t deserve all these emo things from me… I am sorry…

Apology.. again…

~*~

Song… by Jordan Chan…

取消资格陈小春
老友看见我　也会惊讶
平日杯酒不沾　今晚总喝不厌
浅灰色烟圈　浸没了我的脸
宁愿听旧笑话　安慰可免则免

我说我爱你　够份量了吗
我努力试探你　接受我的真心可以吗
我太过爱你　你会被我吓怕　不是吗
怎么你眼里只得他

我也不知道如今这算甚么　
你是否非他不嫁
当选了是他　我认输　都不可怕
最怕其实被取消资格
还不知道　拼命挣扎

如今这算甚么　我是否这么讨厌

只知道付出　以后都不知怎算

最怕其实是输得很远
还不知道　惹人生

The Heart is still bleeding and aching...
Getting worse than better...

Sorry...

Depression mode

2008-05-25T18:36:00.007+08:00

Been working from day till night yesterday and today. I am still in office now. Even though things ended at 6.15pm. Time I ended this guess should be about 8pm?

It seems like was pre-planned that I have gotta work hard and over the weekends when she left me.

Seriously, I cant concentrate much. I am trying. There are of course certain point of time I got busy and things were not in mind. But once everything slow down or back to normal, there goes my mind again.

When you are at such a situation, everything you do, see and places you passed by seems so familiar and leaving you memories.

Went bowling with SGN after getting home. i seriously dont like the moment before sleeping. Thats when everything seems to be attacking your mind. Especially all the unhappy things. So I decided to go Chevron.

After that we went supper. I didnt eat.

So I went to order drinks. Unkonwingly, I ordered Hot Milo, cos I havent been eating for 24 hours. Then we sat at a table. The coffeeshop is the one we usually go at Jurong.

We ended up at the same table where we used to sit. I sat at the exact position where Lin used to sit. Cant exactly remember she had hot milo or coke the last time. But if I didnt remember wrongly, was milo. Thats what I had last night. The last time we sat there, was 22nd March 2008. We told a number of cute pictures too.

I am beginning to hate 22nd. Esther and me started on 22nd. Lin and me started on 22nd and we ended on 22nd. WTF...

I am wearing a black Giordano T-shirt today. This was bought at OG Bugis. That time, me and lin werent together le. 1st time.

She had the same T-shirt, cos I bought for her together for us to change as we were caught in the rain.

She sms me... Its the first time she was in couple wear...

Guess it is just the normal mental when you got depressed over a breakup. Everything just brings memories.

I logged into Mushroom. Lin asked me why I still go in.

Seriously, I have no much idea. But I know, sub-consciously, I just wanna feel her presence, wherever and whatever we went and done.

Mushroom, is our only private place but I know, she aint there anymore...

Didnt wanna let dad and mom knew about this. Who knows, dad happened to ask. 'How come havent see Jialin coming our place"

From there, my eyes began to feel the wetness. *Those who know me, I am an emotional guy*

I just told dad, gone le. I told him and mom, if they dont know anything, dont make unnecessary noises.

I dont like anyone at all to comment or criticise my loves. Especially towards Lin and Esther.

Dont doubt me about those I loved and love.

~*~

My mood and attitude had been one of the worst this time round all my life I guess...
I am sorry to Ber and Yun if I had unintentionally given you guys some attitude.

I am a Capricon. Love is something a Capri takes seriously and always faithful. He/she might fall in love at times easily. But once in love... it will be only that person alone and no one else.

Thats why I have this principle I will never give up my love and girlfriend. No matter how much I would have wanted to be with the other person. Cos when I am in a r/s, the one in front of me, will be the only one I love.

I love hard. I really do. But anyone would have to feel my heart cos I dont do romantic things. I am muddle-head when comes to this.

I fall hard too. last r/s and this r/s. Very hard.

I really dont like what I am feeling and forced to do what I dont like.

Giving up someone I love. This is the first time I am forced to. No more... God Damm It!

I dont like what I have done...

I dont like what I have seen and read.

I still dont like how I feel.

I dont like myself...

I hate it...

8pm now...
Still in depression mode...

Apologies

I wont...

2008-05-24T20:05:00.004+08:00

Once again... I was roaming around town from 7pm.

Alone...

Same place, same route, but alone...

Without her beside me anymore. She Was with him.

Having a happy time spending his birthday.

I went to 5 book stores all around and I cant find the titles anymore. I must look harder.

I ended walking from Borders all the way to Boat Quay. I just wanted to be alone there and rot. I just wanna be somewhere near where she always hang out.

Little did I know, she and Yun Mei went to BQ.

She told me she was going to meet Yun to play. I know she didnt want me to know where they were initially. I have no intention to go down to look for them except for passing her the book.

Ah Ber then came to meet me, had dinner with him and then Yun passed her the book.

She told me she cant meet me cos she didnt want him to be sensitive that she actually met me when he cant spend time with her.

I was kinda pissed. I know its not about meeting an ex. Its about him. When she was with me, didnt she meet him and all? Its just that I closed my eyes. But he is Addison, thats why he got the f-king treatment!

I wanted to stay out later, but Ber and Yun asked me to go back or not they wanna company me. Not to let them stay late, I decided to go home. They went back in cab. While I ended up taking a slow bus ride back. I just wanna take my time home.

I didnt get to sleep until 4+am. I typed a long sms for her, wanted to send out but I am afraid to disturb her. I really cant stand the pain and torture I am going through.

Nevertheless, I still sent her this noon. But she was already at his place sleeping.

Working today. Feeling very frustrated. Till the point I wanna scram back at those customers who f-king screaming at us. My mind aint focusing.

Its all images about her...

~*~

You kept asking me dont be like this, you will worry.

You asked me what can you do?

You tell me what can you do? You are worried, but what can you do?

Forced to give up the one I love to another. How do you want me to feel and what to do?

The only thing I want, is the only damm thing you cant do.

You cried for me, the last time you left me.

That time you told me its the last try with him.

Then now?! Will there be a last?

I dont wanna be such a pain and whinner here... But I cant f-king help it.

No one can feel what I feel and understand.

~*~

I dont like what I see. I dont like what I feel.

~*~

I wont give up...

Trust my words...

I wont...

无题

2008-05-23T00:13:00.000+08:00

下班了，到市区逛了一会儿。
漫无目地的走来走去。。。
心里的酸痛挥不掉。。

很想去喝酒
这是我第二次这么想
第一次，其实也是她离开我的时候。

我感觉自己好渺小，好微不足道。
放了；忘了；算了。。。
你做得到吗？

我现在的痛苦有谁知道？
没有人。。。
你知道，被迫放弃自己深爱的人的挣扎与痛苦吗？

明天是‘他’ 的生日。。。
她明天会替他庆祝。。。
她明天会在他那儿。。。
她明天会在他怀里。。。

我却只能在一个人哭泣。。。

我真的很烂。。。
我只有被人放弃的份。。。
没有被爱的资格。。。

我恨你对他的爱那么的执着。。。
我恨我对你的爱也那么执着。。。

明知道走下去就是悬崖，
但我还是跳了下去。。。
我自找的，怨不得谁。。。

现在的我。。。彻底的碎了。
我背叛了我自己。。。
去成全了你。。。

你可以笑着和他在一起。。。
我只有影子陪伴自己。。。

You Are Tagged!

2008-05-22T18:00:00.002+08:00

Tagged by Mini Darling... Here goes...

1)what do you want the most now?
To hug her tight and tell her not to leave me ever...

2)who is the person you trust most?
No one can ever be trusted... Anymore

3)are you in love?
Yes... My.... Darling... *no more*

4)If you have a dream to come true..what is it?
To be happily in love and live life to the fullest

5) how do you choose between 2 person u loved and love?
Its hard... but I always know who I wanna love...

6) whats ur goal for this year?
Getting a great career...

7)do you believe in eternity ?
Used to... Now... I try to.. but I know it does exist...

8)have you ever broke a person's heartthat he/she wanna commit suicide?
I doubt so... But I did wanna commit suicide b4 eh...

9)what feelings do you love most?
Showered with TLC...

10)what are the requirements from ur other half?
Nothing in particular.. as long as I love her and she loves me...

11) what kinda feelings u hate most?
My feelings now... Hurt, devasted, depress and broke...

12) do you cherish every friendship of yours?
Yes I do... But seems like I am always the one forsaken...

13)What do you want to do in future?
Earn enough money, do my event/pub business and get married and not let my wife suffer...

14) what is the most impt thing in ur life?
To be alive...

15) what are you looking forward to?
The day.. true love came knocking on my door

16) who do you hope to be always there for you?
Her... my close friends and of cos.. my family...

17)what do you hope for the future?
Happily married with kids and doing things I like to enjoy life..

Remove 1 question from above and add in your personal question.

Then add 9 people in your listand list them out at the end of the post.

Notify them in their Chat box that he/she has been tagged.

Whoever does the tag will have a blessing from all.

1) Jialin
2) Yun Mei
3) Esther
4) Rouqin
5) Jane Tan
6) Sharon
7) Charel
8) Meijuan
9) Eva

我会等你

2008-05-22T14:48:00.000+08:00

我会等你。。。

Good Bye

2008-05-22T12:35:00.003+08:00

22nd May 2008

12.15pm...

Its Good Bye...

112 days of meet ups... Ends today...

Its the damm choice I gotta make out of no choice...

Its a fucking choice I made that I will hate myself for my damm life...

Tears is the only thing left flowing now...

*Depression mode*

Defeated...

2008-05-22T11:38:00.003+08:00

Once again... I was defeated by my own belief...

True love... doesnt exist for me.. at all... not the slightest...

I hate breaking my own principles in r/s and doing things I dont like to do..

I am left with a decision finally...

Its call NO CHOICE!

Everyone is leaving basing on what they call a logical decision.

But I am left to decide cos I have NO CHOICE!

I teared... No one sees...

I bleed... No one sees...

Cos I had all these coming...

Thomas Wisely Wee...

You are such a lousy person...

You dont deserve anyone at all... Thats why all those you love and loved left...

All at the same time...

My heart is so painful now... I am feeling so terrible now...

No one sees...

我还能做些什么？

做什么都是枉费.

Whine...

2008-05-15T23:43:00.004+08:00

Lately... I have been listening to alot of songs in office.

Yes... Sad and slow songs... for the emo mood...

Until SS (my colleague) kept saying me...

"Thomas ah..你可以不要这样 emo 吗？你最近都好像很emo leh"

Haa... well.. looks like my colleague can also feel it huh?

Yeah... well... i must say, as I mentioned in my earlier post, i was really feeling down these days...

Yesterday, when I was on the way to PS with Darling in the train, I kept looking at her while she was playing PSP. Little did she know, or she might know that in my heart and mind, emotions were stirring up. To the extend of tears almost coming to my eyes.

Today, I also did the same thing, looked at her, kissed her head, smell her hair while she was playing. I was just thinking that I am glad, I have such a sweet and pretty Darling with me.

I just love looking at my Darling and appreciate her. telling myself how great it is to have her. Telling myself this is my Darling and I love her...

People who have seen me with her probably think.." WTF.. this kinda guy also got such pretty girlfriend..."

Well... So? Jealous? Go ahead!

I kept thinking in my mind.. How long can I hold on to this love of mine? I really dont know...

No matter how prepared I am... When the day comes... it will still be as devastating...

The feeling is just so so so helpless...

Darling bought me a 4 leaves clover handphone chain. She knows things havent been going well for me so she just hope to give me some luck. I really do need the luck..

But seriously, in love.. I can only pray and hope...

I bought her another book.. I think I did mention.

In total, I have bought her 4 books already. I den realised.. I should have written something inside everytime I bought her one book, including the dates. She said she can write it in for me, but it wont serve the purpose. It serves as a memorial value.Well.. Its ok... Maybe it wasnt that significant to other people ba...

Darling mentioned before wanting me to buy her library... Well... I seriously dont know how many more books I can buy for her. Library? I really dont know...

She has been blogging about him here and there in almost every post... Well... I closed my 2 eyes... I trying to close my heart and mind... but somehow... I felt it aching. Everytime she told me she might be meeting him, I just had a short change of mood. Pardon me, but I believe its normal. End of the day, what can I do? What can I say?

I asked for it...

We still have Genting trip, Thailand trip, Batam trip and Taiwan trip yet to go...

I think... soon... I can forget about it...

Ber and Yun Mei going Genting soon... hmph... ask you all wait but dun wan...

~*~

Darling finally found the necklace I gave her for Valentines' Day, before we were attached. Its been lost for weeks. i am glad and she is happy its been found. Looking at her happy expression, i am really glad that some efforts of mine are still being appreciated.

For now, only thing I can do is to love her all I can and giving her the love she deserved from me.

Other than that, i dont really wanna think too much. Too afraid to think...

~*~

Note to Esther... Dont need to bother about the arsehole anymore. Devil's calling, but be selective. You are out of it, braced up and move forward... There are much more people who appreciate you than you know. 加油！

~*~

Its the 105 day today we have met up Darling... Are you still feeling my heart? Or tring not to feel too much instead? Will we be able to continue the days? Not for long ba... I just hope we will be able to spend abit more quality time to cover the quantity days...

Mr Wee loves you...

~*!

I need a change in my life.. I need a better job, better pay. i wish I can end my studies soon. I need to bild up my career... need to support the family...

Too much things, too little time...

The limited me...

~*~

Adding some images of me and Darling.. !st time i had pictures here...

Too much emotions... Just wanna add some sweet and happy images...

Time to sleep... nitez...